The Three Hundred and Ninety-eighth Post: The One Where I Think I’m Going Merrily Crazy!

I apologize for missing last week. It was a weird week for me, and by the time I realized I hadn’t put in an entry, it was Sunday, and I was up to my hips in laundry. I’m back now, and we’ll see what happens for this week. Just remember the old kender saying: If it’s been in a house for longer than two weeks, it’s an heirloom.

I also haven’t been doing much writing, sad to say – it’s been a weird week. However, when I did resume…I think I hit a moment when the character managed to sit down and have a little chat with me as the author. It was a moment of reflection for Valentina when she was getting ready to go out and hunt some more. She came to the realization that she didn’t eat to love, she loved to eat.

Serial killers, as I’ve found out through research, end up giving themselves little permissions to escalate their actions. John Wayne Gacy is a good example of this. He built up to his homosexuality, then built up to his murderous impulses bit by bit. Now, whether that’s for the sake of maintaining the dopamine flow in his brain, or he just got more and more comfortable with his actions, is not clear to me. Valentina does the same thing, but we’re watching her transition from being a romantic cannibal to a more lust-driven cannibal. If we were to equate this to just sex – this is Valentina going from someone who was highly monogamous to someone who plays the field vigorously.

There’s another phrase to describe this: the berserker phase. Gacy had it. Bundy had it. Valentina’s dipping her toes into it as she gets more comfortable.

This is not how I envisioned Valentina in the beginning, but it’s how she’s turning out. I’ve always maintained that the characters in my head have a small spark of autonomy. Whether this is something that other authors have had happen to them, or I’ve crossed that threshold and I’m ready for the starch white love-me coats – I have no idea. But I am excited about this and I can’t wait to see how it ends for Valentina by the close of the second book and how this impacts the third.

I love times like this because it keeps me interested in writing the book. I want to see how everything turns out because sometimes, I really don’t know. I’m just a chronicler of this very twisted woman’s life. I take that back – she’s going to end up on Death Row, but how she gets from here with hacking up prostitutes to sitting on Old Sparky saying ‘I don’t even know why I’m here’ is a bit of a mystery to me.

Man, I love this job.

As my battery is getting low, I will let you all go. Feel free to drop a line or check out the books I sell on the right hand side.

Have a good day.

The Three Hundred and Ninety-seventh Post: The One Where I Channel my Inner Neo and Dodge Multiple Bullets!

I heard back from my editor! She’s still alive and reading the second draft. There might be a third draft, as I think about it and there are some things I want to change now that I’m thinking about it. The more I noodle around with the manuscript, the more I’m reminded of the say: art is never completed, only abandoned. I know that I am going to stress, fret and worry myself over this until I tell myself stop. So, I am going to say that when I get the manuscript back, and I fix the little things I want to fix – it’s done. I am going to stick to my deadline of pre-orders in October…even if I have to upload the editor’s suggestions after publication.

The changes I make aren’t very big, and I’m just doing them to make sure that everything between book one and two line up correctly – the whole process versus product killer thing. The meaning behind the birthday party incident and other things. Once this is done and up, I am going to be so happy. I am so ready for this book to be up and out. At the same time, I am not confident in what I have. As much as I’ve loved the idea, and all the work I have and will put into it…I don’t think this is going to be any better or worse that The Dreaded Day Job or The Quietest Heart. I loved the idea, but I can’t help but think I’ve failed in the execution.

Too late now.

As you can also tell – I am through my technical issues. Apparently, something re-mapped my keyboard…or there was a mechanical or electrical issue with my keyboard. I was worried that I was going to have to buy a new laptop and I have some stickers on them (from penpals and others) that I don’t want to lose. I tried to check the inside of the keyboard, but I couldn’t get to all the screws. After I re-screwed it back up, I did a repair reset to Windows…which both fixed the keyboard but didn’t go all the way through so I didn’t lose any programs this time. It has made me realize I should have some ‘emergency laptop’ funds at the ready. I really dodged a bullet with this one, and eventually, my luck is going to run out.

Well – all in all, it hasn’t been a bad week. A couple of scrapes that I survived with my vices intact, and what’s been a traditionally bad day for me and my mental health I got with the help of friends and writing. I hope everything is better for you, and that your laptops continue to work and you get your books right on the second time around.

Until next week!

The Three Hundred and Ninety-sixth Blog Post: The One Where I Declare Holiday!

So…I’m on vacation, and I am not going to force the writing this week. I did write on Saturday (3K!) and a little on Sunday, but for the past three days I’ve maybe tossed down a couple of words here and there. I’ve been mostly catching up with friendly correspondence. And buying pens. But I can quit when I want.


My mind’s been going back to The Truth Will Out every now and then, so what I might do is finish this current Valentina novel, then go back to The Truth. Maybe I can get that one finished, then work on Immigrant Voices and for the final book, work on a comedy. Follow up The Dreaded Day Job with something.

Comedy’s not easy, and horror’s in my blood.

I’m not stressing out this week because it is a vacation. If I write, I can write. If I’m not in the mood, then that’s fine. No stress. Let me restock the well and let my subconscious feel things out for various problems (How will Cadie get over her insistence on not dating people she’s working with? Should Abigail die on camera? Would Guru Joe call it a Christmas party or a winter festival?). As much as I am a workaholic when it comes to writing, I realize I need to rest.

Next week – more pens, more nibs to fix a pen, more ink and a new notebook because that’s what I need. More notebooks. Give me notebooks.

I just need to take a couple of days off (Thanks Bioshock!) and get my mind a bit of a rest. It’s not going to be easy because I have something of an obsessive personality. I’ll be fine.

But seriously – if you like me, send me notebooks. Blank books, composition books, spiral books. If I buy them, my wife will more than likely punish me with more dishes to wash.

I am still writing Valentina’s Repast, and I am getting the two characters together (Cadie and Valentina), snd I’m just trying to every now and then find the worse possible time for something to go wrong with Valentina, it happens and it’s really gotten me a couple of good scenes. Just right now – Cadie doesn’t date people that she’s invested in, and Valentina can only kill so many prostitutes before they start putting two and two together. I just need some sort of justification to let Cadie date and/or sleep with Valentina, so Valentina can get the permission to kill Cadie.

So – while I work on this problem and immerse myself in one of my favorite horror video games, please feel free to check out my other works, give me some coffee (please) and leave some nice reviews.

Thanks for stopping by!