The Background Chatter In My Head

Just me mouthing off. May or may not be interesting, distressing or subject to the laws of cause or effect. Watch for the hidden messages.

The Four Hundred and Forty-Eighth Post: The One Where the War is Without and Within…

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I have a problem.

I love games with deep lore and in-game history. I’m not into the mechanics of the games so much as I am with the history and the personalities that make up the game’s atmosphere. One of the games I like with a super-deep lore is Mechwarrior/Battlemech. I played it as a table-top game, and as a video game when they came out. I have the latest iteration of the game: Mechwarrior 5: Mercenaries. I love it because it takes place at the same time frame I’ve played the table top game. I like watching what’s going on and knowing that there is a deeper story unfolding that I can’t wait to see happen.

Also being a writer, I have a premium on time. There are only twenty-four hours in a day and a lot of them are allocated to every other thing that gets in the way like work and sleeping.

Look at him. Lazy.

At some point, I have to write.

Writing takes discipline. Discipline that I really don’t have with the omnipresent Mechwarrior 5 begging and pleading for attention. Before you say, “Just play an hour.” This isn’t a game that you can settle up in a session or two. This is a looong game – as long as Borderlands 2 (another favrotie game). You can see my problem.

Get thee behind me…

As much as I love writing, even when it’s a struggle to get something out – I love the distraction of the game. That’s what it is, is a distraction. I need a better way to deal with it. Right now, I write during lunch and that’s it. When I get home, it’s the game before and after dinner before I go to bed. I should be writing. If I do my 850 twice a day, I can finish this book in a month and a half.

But Mechwarrior…

Trying to find something to inspire me, I watched the movie Creed and there was this line from Stallone:

ROCKY

[pointing toward Adonis’ reflection in the mirror]

That’s the toughest opponent

you’re ever going to have to face.

This is the mindset I need to cultivate. It’s me against me – the creative me that wants to do this for a living against the lazy, game obsessed me. It’s going to the gym me against the junk food and TV watching me.

ROCKY

It’s you against you,

and he’s in the way.

Get him out of the way.

I need to get Mechwarrior out of the way. I need to get TV out of the way. I need to get junk food out of the way. Will it be easy? Nope. Will I stumble? You bet. But I’m only going to fail if I quit.

The Four Hundredth and Forty-seventh Post: The One Where I Ask If Dentists Prefer Black and Decker Pilers to Craftsman?

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The first chapter of my latest horror novel (titled: “Serve Me Now”) is not really the first chapter and that’s a good thing, because it was like pulling teeth to get it written in the first place. After it was finished (and I felt like I’d just climbed Everest with a 300 lbs. conjoined twin on my back), I let my wife read it. She said it wasn’t the best I’d written – which means it was a pile of hot garbage. I showed it to my writing group – they said I could do better. That definitely means it was a pile of hot garbage.

So, I went on ahead and wrote the second chapter. I figured that I could continue along with the book and just come back to the first chapter and rewrite it in the second draft. I let my wife read the second chapter, and she said it was a lot better – no shoehorning of things, no beating the reader about the head with certain concepts. I haven’t shown it to the writing group yet, but I’m sure they’re going to like it better than the first first chapter.

This is what it’s meant when the writing advice: kill your darlings is uttered. I kinda liked the first chapter. Sure, it was clunky, but I liked the opening of Leslie taking the cherry tomato from Brian’s salad. I liked that visual and how it set up the future of the book. However, the rest of the chapter was, as mentioned earlier, hot garbage. So…it got cut, but I am going to keep that scene with the cherry tomato to be used later. Maybe as a sign that the hunger is getting more intolerable for Leslie.

How was your writing experience?

I am continuing along with the novel, and the tooth-pulling has diminished, but not gone away. I’m concerned that the hunger is growing too rapidly so far. I really want it to be a source of dread – especially when it drives her to the point of legit insanity. Pacing is always a problem for me. Maybe I should bring that up to the writers group. Been writing since I was about seven, and I am still learning things. Never quit learning, kids.

The weather is getting better here, but I am not going to do any photography for a few more months. I want to make sure we’re not going to have a cold snap anytime soon. I’m still struggling to find a good subject, so right now I’m just working on technique. I need to get good soon, so I can make my own covers, I have so many ideas, but I need people to work on them with. Any local volunteers? I can guarantee a steak on one photoshoot.

Well, that’s all for now – sorry this is a little late, but my schedule’s been crazy. Check out the books on the right – I am going to be adding a couple more soon from favorite authors. Stay safe, stay dry and ta-ta for now.

The Four Hundred and Forty-sixth Post: The One Where I Have a Between Meal Snack…

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Ever heard of the Baader-Meinhof effect? It’s an effect when you see or hear about something, then you start seeing it everywhere. You read an ad for something like a particular model of car, and then you see it on the streets and in parking lots. It’s a weird effect, and mostly harmless.

Well, I’m writing about hunger for my latest novel, and now I’m starting to notice when I’m hungry, and really been focusing on food as of late. I’ve been taking note of what I’m putting in my mouth when I get hungry. Now, I am usually the person that doesn’t get really hungry, or to be more accurate – when I feel hungry, it’s a big thing. Ever since I started this project, I notice more when I feel a little hungry and feel the need to do something about it, rather than let it go on.

Shown Above: The Creative Process

Should my next project be about billionaires who give away money? Asking for a friend.

I just find this unusual because this isn’t the first time I’ve written about eating, but I never paid attention to the feeling of hunger. In that time, I was really into eating meat, you know? Getting into the taste, smell and texture of the meat – whether it was ground up chuck or filet mignon. Now it’s just a general ‘huh…I’m hungry now. That’s weird’.

I’m also one of those kind of people that tend to see meaning in seemly random events. You know – superstitious. Now, when I’ve had things like this, the writing went very well. So far…well…it’s been a slightly uphill battle, but I haven’t really tossed this idea in my head around for very long.

I’m starting what I’ve called ‘The Year of Horror’. No more fantasy for this year. Only going to focus on horror. I’ve got four book ideas. Three of them are very new and one is one I’ve been working on for a while, I just need to really hammer down a P.O.V. for it. If all goes well, I might have a couple of new books out by the end of the year, and two more to come out next year when I buckle down and finish something I’ve started.

Well, I’m feeling a bit hungry, so I am going to get a small snack that is totally appropriate for a diabetic and is certainly not a chocolate bar. Hope to see you all later. Ta-ta for now!

The Four Hundred and Forty-fifth Post: The One Where I Drink a Pina Colada Out of A Viking Horn.

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Fantasy and I are going to take a bit of a break from each other. When I read the backs of a lot of books, I’m not thrilled anymore. I can wait for them to get into my hot little hands (still have a bit of a fever). So, I am going to dedicate this year to horror and see if I can get some things going. I’ve got a lot of ideas – enough for this year easily…including Camp Nano and Nanowrimo. I think I need to do this to recharge the batteries and regrow some interest.

I wonder if Stephen King went through something like this? His bibliography looks like if he did, he just took an afternoon off.

Anyway, busman’s holiday aside, I am looking forward to getting into horror. It was the one big genre I loved and I snapped up anything I could grab, with fantasy being a close second. I wonder if there are any good fantasy/horror mashups? If you know of any, let me know please. I want to widen my horizons and maybe dabble a little bit, who knows?

I know I missed yesterday and I am sorry, but after working for 12 hours a day and coming home, I felt like poo. I also got Mechwarrior 5 (I am a sucker for games with deep lore) and tried it out a little. Not a fan of the shallowness of ‘mech customation, but I am willing to give the game a shot. When I have the time. *sigh*

There is not a whole lot going on here – started writing the first horror novel of the year: Serve Me Now and it’s going to be published under my name, so it is my first official horror book. I hope that it has a better showing than Valentina’s Feast. The book has a four and a half star rating, so it can’t be too bad…which is actually the average for my books on Amazon. I just need better publicity.

Anyhow – if you’re curious, on the right hand side there are all the current books of mine you can buy, not to mention books that good friends (and better writers than me) have written, I actually need to update that list soon. Well – that’s all for today, I do have a chapter to finish up for Saturday’s writing group. Ta-ta!

Four Hundred and Forty-fourth Post: The One Where I Don’t Think I’m Contagious, Just Bored?

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I’m feeling a lot better now, but I’m not feeling better enough to write. I cant come up anything for The Deadly Barrows right now, so I am doing something else. I am giving contemporary Gothic Horror a shot. Maybe if I do something completely different from swords and sorcery fantasy, I can shake up my brain enough to get me to the next planned scene in the novel.

Times like this drive me crazy sometimes. While I am still writing, I’m not getting anything done. I know that this is the method that Isaac Asimov used and he’s the most prolific authors ever. The big difference is that he finished his stuff and I just let my stuff twist in the wind. How he did it, I have no idea.

Then again, I still have a touch of what’s going around at work now. It could be that my body is still fighting the infection. I know I’m coughing like I got a pack-a-day habit. I think my brain might want a little rest.

But I have a couple of scenes in the gothic horror novel (working title: The Golden Ticket – it’s a term I used for which people can come over uninvited) that I am going to write and let’s see what happens. It might be that I am starting to burn out on fantasy, and I should switch to something else. Maybe this is going to keep me from just giving up completely on fantasy, which is my favorite genre to write.

Ultimately, I am trying to find the genre that’s going to be the most successful. I could write comedy, horror or fantasy, but I feel like I need to drill down and find one thing to work on. I gave splatterpunk a shot with Valentina’s Feast, but I don’t think it’s going to go off like I thought it would. Maybe Gothic is the way to go. Foggy nights in the woods, the blanket of dread settling over people, and the knowledge that something is wrong – not just wrong, but an act against nature’s own laws.

My goal is to have a book good enough to send to Stephen King as a way of gratitude for what he’s taught me (maybe get an endorsement? C’mon Mr. King – I helped get your kids through college, all I want is a shout-out) as a writer.

Well – I apologize that this is so late, but I knew it was Wednesday, but not that it was deadline Wednesday. Also – I do have a show that I am hooked on called Yellowjackets. The best way to sum it up is Lord of the Flies meets Sweet Valley High. Worth a quick look.

Check out the books I’m selling to the right – written by authors far more talented than me and by myself as well. Hopefully, the sickness will work its way out of my system, and I can be far mor productive.

The Four Hundred and Forty-Third Post: The One Where I Go For The Cadillac!

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I’m still working on the fantasy series, but now my mind is coming up with ideas for other things left and right. I have an idea about a Southern Got novel (a tale of friendship, murder and privilege…) and a haunted house novel with a twist (the working title, and I might stick with this is: Breeder).

Even with these shiny new toys, I am trying to stay on track. It’s really hard not to act like a methed out German Shepherd chasing cars on the highway. I write notes and start some outlines, and that’s how it starts. Next thing I know, I’ve abandoned the current work for this new shiny thing.

I am trying to stay on track with this because it’s so long, and I have already put some time into it (Chapter 16 of…20? 25? Of book one of…20? Really, why can’t I do single novels?) and I am hoping to make the sunk cost fallacy work for me for a change. I am almost done with the first book, and I am bringing it to my writer’s group to get some opinions on it. I just need to finish it, but not rush the finish to get to the next book (a little less planned out sadly). I’m hoping that this series will get me some traction if I take the less traditional road of putting it up for free first, then publish it second.

But my big problem is the ideas come hot and heavy to me when I am occupied. When I’m not? Not even a dust bunny of an idea. My wife says it’s because my mind is working, so it’s not distracted by other things. I think my mind hates me at times and does this to trip me up.

Anyway – things are still going well as far as writing goes. I did take a day off to get some errands done, and I cleaned a little.

Shocking, I know.

See? Clean.

Just grinding away at books and trying to keep the muse happy – that’s my week in a nutshell. I might outline the haunted house story and work on it after the first book is done. I am going to have to research pregnancy…which is going to get me some odd looks at the book store and some interesting things on my Amazon account.

Sorry this is a little quick, but really – not much as been going on. Life of a writer and all that. Check out some stuff to the right – hope to add some new books soon. Have fun and take care.

The Four Hundred and Forty-Second Post! The One Where I Just Let It Go!

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I noticed that I had made a couple of spelling mistakes on the previous entry.

Spellcheck don’t care.

I feel embarrassed about this because I did glance over it before publishing it. Normally, this sort of mistake would be something that would gnaw away at me. Distracting me from other things until I fixed it, and even then I would be recriminating myself for sloppiness. It would pick at me like a vulture looking for a tasty sliver of liver to gnaw on.

I Before E, except after C…and my name…and French loan words…

Now, either through fatigue or maturity, I’m going to let it go. It’s there and there is nothing more to it. I will use it to spur me on to be more wary about things. Maybe triple check something. Do the old “read it backwards” trick when looking over something. Be vigilant!

On other news, I have found a couple of series that I am somewhat invested in. “Yellowjackets” from Showtime is a show that can be described as Lord of the Flies meets Sweet Valley High. Given my fascination (healthy) with cannibalism, this looks to be an interesting series. I’ve seen the pilot, and this is definitely going into my Thursday viewing habit.

The other series is put out by AMC+ — “Anne Rice’s Interview with the Vampire”. Again, watched the pilot and this is going to be my Saturday evening show. Wow – did they up the homoeroticism! Not a bad thing, but I am looking forward to seeing how this is going to work out. I like how they set up the titular interview. It’s not a hard reboot, but more of a softer version of it. The initial interview has been done, and the reporter is trying to get a second chance at it. Beautifully shot, wonderfully written. This has a couple of things added to it, but then again, it’s been over thirty years since I read the book (I might have to revisit it). Worth the watch.

I also got to see the movie “M3GAN”. It’s more like “M3h-GAN”. A couple of cheap jump scares, and light on the gore, it’s good for a Red Box rental, or something like that. If you’re going to go see it in the cinema, go for a matinee. It’s good, but it never really breaks new ground as far as “AI Is Evil” goes. I mean, if you can bring your five-year-old to it, is it really horror?

That’s all that’s been going on for now. I’m still cranking away at the fantasy project, and I hope to get it done before the year is halfway over. That’s the first draft of course, I’ll be lucky if I can get it to Royal Road before the end of the year, since one of my goals is to have a regular update schedule with it.

Well, be sure to look to the right to see books put out by me or some good friends. Check them out and send them (and me) some love. Ta-ta for now.

The Four Hundred and Forty-first Post: The One Where I Have New Toys and New Hopes!

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So, I got a new laptop. This is the inaugural post I am writing on it. It has a weird feel to it. The keys feel very cheap, but springy. The body is light, which is going to feel good to my shoulders now I don’t have to lug my gaming laptop all the time. I just got everything settled in and downloaded. Only writing programs are on this thing: Office, Scrivener and Calibre. This is my new work laptop – thanks to Amazon for getting it to me the same day I ordered it.

I took some time off because I felt like I could use it. I don’t call myself a social work-a-holic. I do take time off from writing, but sometimes ideas just creep up anyways. I dutifully wrote it down and did a little research on it, so I might use it for Camp Nanowrimo this year. I haven’t really touched the keyboard to do any writing since Thursday, which was a half day at work, and I worked through my lunch to get out there that much faster. Friday, I ordered the laptop and I spent my time fretting about it getting here on time and getting it set up. All of that was a breeze, and now I’ve gotten Office in working order, so now I can finally write tomorrow

Ir that’s what I would be saying if I didn’t have this huge writer’s black about what to do next in the novel project. I just introduced a character, so I’m thinking that I should expand on him, but when I sit down to try that I get nothing. Admittedly, he’s a character that is not really fleshed out past his introduction. I think I might go on to something else and come back to it.

Well – I hope that this year will be a good one for you. I’m looking forward to finishing some projects and maybe getting something close to a regular revenue stream out of all this. So long, and Happy New Year’s to you.

The Four Hundredth and Fortieth Post: The One Where I Pop In To Say ‘Hi!’

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Hello, everyone! I’m sorry I’ve been gone for so long, but I decided to step away from the keyboard after Nanowrimo just to recharge my batteries. I’m hoping that I can re-capture the energy of Nanowrimo and make it last a little longer (19 books longer to be exact). I won Nanowrimo as in I wrote 50,000 words in 22 days. It was a matter of getting few done during the morning, afternoon and after work. On the weekends and write-a-thons is when I could pull down some big numbers. I’m going to try to keep this schedule up with the help of caffeine.

Shown: Nanowrimo Energy

The book is coming along well, with the characters surprising me at almost every turn, but sticking (kinda) to the outline I wrote. I’m not a hardcore outliner. I’ll just have something to keep me going, and some note of good lines to fold in at appropriate times. I haven’t had a lot of writer’s block this go around. Mostly, if I got stuck, I would just skip ahead to another scene and figure it out later. This rarely happened, so I got most of the story done. Right now, I’m trying to write a convincing speech for the characters to rally behind and outlining the second book.

I’m feeling really good about this one. I’ve got a model for monetizing it, hopefully to get some breathing room and get this out of the ‘fervent hobbyist’ level. Most of the other things that I had I could only monetize when I was done with them. With this, I can submit it a chapter at a time and give out various short stories (provided I can write them. Short stories aren’t my strong suit) and build a subscription model through Patreon. At the end, I can gather all the chapters together and sell it as a complete book. I might even do that with Dirt Elf – once I get rid of the lame character aspect. I’ve got on already in the current work and I really don’t like repeating myself.

Well, other than that – everything is good here. I’m going to put up another posting soon, then take two weeks off for the holidays. Again, sorry for the spotty posting, but with Nanowrimo and December there really isn’t going to be much time for me. First of the year, however, I am going to go back to regular Thursday posting. Hope you all have a good holiday season and look forward to seeing you in the first of the year with good news!