The Three Hundred and Fifty-sixth Post: The One Where I Talk Books and Madness!

Hello, everyone. I apologize for missing an entry (or two…or ten…let’s be honest), but I have an explanation and some good news.

First, the good news.

Valentina’s Feast is finished! Well, the first draft is at least. I’ve sent it off to a couple of editors and I’m still hoping for an October release. I do have other people reading it as well, so I’m hoping with all the input I’m getting this will be the best book I’ve written thus far.

On the upside, I am a wee bit ahead of schedule as far as starting the next book The Agonizing Alibi Day. I was supposed to start it this Saturday, but I’ve actually started it Monday so I’m hoping to continue to ride the wave of productivity through my least favorite month, and start putting out books to be read by mid-September at the earliest. If everything really, really works out, I can have a romance novel (Lard of Love) done in time for February.

I’m really trying to stay committed to cranking out a novel a month to end this year, and hopefully finish a couple of larger projects (The Marvelous and Malefic Doomsday Medicine Show and A Game of Chinese Whispers) over the course of next year. As long as I can maintain a certain level of production and a certain quality of finished product, I feel confident that this is within reach.

The reason why I feel so confident is…mental health.

No, wait – come back!

As long-time readers of the blog will know, I have been up front with my struggles with mental illness. One of the purposes of this is a place to discuss and communicate what’s been happening with me. Keeping it all bottled up has been more harmful than helpful (I only say this because this is how I was raised. Our family motto could have been: Et ego dabo vobis quia clamare de!). Recently, I have been trying a anti-obsessive drug called Luvox. It’s in the same class of SSRI like the anti-depression drug I was on called Lexapro. All of this will be slightly important in a minute.

For the past month, Luvox has made me feel like a zombie. Not the cool, sprinting zombie fiends but the lumbering, moaning mounds of undead flesh. I spent most of my lunches asleep rather than writing. When I got home, bypassing the gym because I was too tired, I would fix dinner and get ready for tomorrow. I didn’t have the energy to do anything else. I am frankly surprised I got the book finished when I did. Even when I got eight hours of sleep, I still felt like I have gotten an hour’s sleep over the course of three days.

Sunday was my last day of taking the Luvox. Monday was my first day of feeling awake. Really awake. Tuesday, I took my first dose of Lexapro. I still feel very awake and aware.

I will also be completely honest and upfront – this has not been without consequences. Remember when I said Luvox was an anti-obsessive drug? Well…the thoughts are back and apparently making up for lost time. Right now, I am just bearing down and holding things off until I speak to my counselor and doctor. I know they’re going to upbraid me for just stopping one drug and picking up the other. I’ve earned it, but what I did was born from desperation. When I was switching from Lexapro to Luvox, I took both for about a week, rather than stopping one cold, then picking up the other the following day. If you feel the need to change medications: Talk to your doctor first!

I am going to be more mindful of what’s going on emotionally, which means delightful blog fodder for everyone else. I can hope that what I am going through will help someone else.

Everyone – hug your loved ones and I’ll try to review a movie and keep the novel updates rolling along.

One thought on “The Three Hundred and Fifty-sixth Post: The One Where I Talk Books and Madness!

  1. It is really awesome to see your blog posts and see how things are going with you so never apologize! I do love that you stress to not quickly change medicines so please just be easy on yourself and ENJOY the writing process. It is an outlet and it is a craft you nurture! Self love and self care are paramount to the process of you being your best self with love and compassion starting with yourself so that it can emanate to others 🙂 even cynicism and darker art craft can swell from a place of empathy and compassion but if you are like me it can be overwhelming letting all that flow at once sooooooo…..like I always say….BABY STEPS! Wish you the best and all the support I can muster from this end! I am excited for the new reads but don’t overburden yourself! Being busy can be a great outlet so just relax and mull over the creative process and let it flow in a cathartic way and like I said….ENJOY!

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