Long time followers of this blog will know that I am up front about my mental illness. I’m finding that this does help. As Marcus Parks says on Last Podcast on the Left: “Mental illness is not your fault, but it is your responsibility.” Saying that, I am taking responsibility – I’m in counseling, I’m taking drugs for the depression and I am trying to stay positive and busy.
What brings this up for me is this one, wonderful fact.
I have not had a suicidal thought for a week. I have not had an episode of deep depression in two weeks.
I really wish I could point to a single source, but I have no idea. I really didn’t realize it until it hit me yesterday. I’ve been following my diet a little more closely this week, I’ve been pretty busy as of late and I have a vacation coming up (yay!). During the vacation, I am finally going to finish editing the novel, might even get through another one before November and Nanowrimo begins. I’ll even get back to the gym – using vacation week to get the habit solidified.
What’s the take-away from all this? Do not despair. Do not give up hope. I know that platitudes are the last thing someone dealing with depression and suicide wants to hear – trust me, every time someone told me “just cheer up, dude!”, I wanted to kick them in the crotch. Telling me to cheer up, or to get over it just got on my nerves. You’d never tell a cancer patient to just get better.
What also helped was the fact that I have friends who understand what I’m going through and make offers to at least listen. Thank you all. I am getting better.
Enough of that!
As I mentioned earlier, I am going to finish editing Valentina’s Feast during vacation week and will have it out by the first half of November. I still have a good feeling about this one, and I am focused on getting it done. After that, I’m going to tinker a little on Resurrectionist’s Blues and try to finish that and Romance with Advantage. It’s a lot on my plate, but I can get a lot of it done with the free time I’m getting.
I know I’ve been a little flaky about the blog, but between this, overtime at work and other projects – I am tired. I will keep everyone posted about what’s going on, but today (Friday, October 23, 2020), I am going to go home and chill. Might even sit down and finally watch Parasite or The Shape of Water. Just me and a big bowl of popcorn for the evening.
Everyone – stay safe, have fun and I hope to see y’all soon.