The Five Hundred and Sixty-Second Post: The One Where I Can’t Get It Together and It’s Really Irritating at Times…

Here’s a question to all those who read this blog and happen to write: do you ever have days in which you want to write, but none of your projects seem to catch your attention? I’m feeling that today. I wanted to write something, I felt that burn in my heart to put words to paper, but when I thought about any of the myriad of projects I have, I kept telling myself ‘nah’. Nothing caught my eye, not even writing the outline for Your Tribe, Our Tribe and I love using my fountain pens.

Yesss…

I don’t know what it is. Am I just (as the kids says) ‘not feeling it’? This distresses me because I am haunted by the words of Jim Butcher: ‘I don’t have a muse, I have a mortgage.’ This is the one thing that worries me about getting to that professional level. At that point, I can’t have bad days. I have to be cranking out my best every day. I know me. I know that I am going to have off days, down days and I-don’t-wanna days. While I am at my day job, I can crank out work even when I was deep into my depression. My count wasn’t off, and my productivity wasn’t lower than usual. Then again – there’s nothing creative about what I do to earn a paycheck.

Writing is so much more to me. I can tell when I am not on my best game when I read what I wrote that day. I don’t hit my word count, or I struggle to get to my word count for that day. I’m not excited about what I am putting down on paper, as it were, and it shows. I can’t put out bad material, which makes me anxious, which blocks me from putting out my best work, which means I’m not professional and on and on and on…

See the problem I have?

I want to be professional. I want to do this for a living. I just need to get around this particular mental block. Another question to my professional writer audience: How do you do it? How do you write on days when your heart isn’t in it? There must be something more to it than just ‘nut up or shut up’.

Or should I be less irritated about taking a day off? Is that just as important as being on task? Did Stephen King take days off? Is that something I should build into my writing schedule? Have a day that’s a guilt free day off, just a day to watch a movie (which is what I did today) and relax a little. I don’t go to the gym on Sunday, so maybe I should make it a complete day of rest. Have some fun. Maybe I should look at it like that. Just try to maintain a work flow Monday through Saturday, and let Sunday be optional. Don’t stress over it. Well, don’t try to stress over it.

The Five Hundred and Sixty-First Post: The One Where I Just Shuffle Around in My Pajamas…

I didn’t do anything Sunday and I feel bad about it. I’m sure I’ve spoken about it earlier, but I had no energy to do anything. I didn’t even watch YouTube. I don’t know if I was shagged out after a big gaming day yesterday (two hour road trip! Whoo!) or I was just *bleh*. I hated it because I wanted to write, but when I looked at my expectant laptop, I just felt turned off by the idea.

No, I don’t vacation very well, either.

I ended up moping around the house, just trying to get something done, but I ended up on the couch reading and listening to music. Not the high paced world of authoring fiction to be sure. Monday, I felt a little better and managed to get some writing done in the afternoon and evening after going to the gym.

Sundays are just bleh for me, I guess.

I’m going to chalk up Sunday to a day of fitful rest and move on. Tuesday wasn’t any better, but today I have a good feeling about it because I am going to be in a writer’s group meeting and we’re going to do nothing but write. I should hit my daily word count today with little problem. I’m also going to be around friends who are going to keep me honest about such things as well. It’ll be fun.

When I do write, it’s coming along pretty good. I’m about to get to the point where Chip is starting to piece things together with Lin and Joe. I can’t tart to write those scenes, because it means I’m finally getting to the heart of the story – which makes me wonder if I should cut some of these scenes to make the story tighter. As far as word count goes, I’m halfway through the book. Story-wise, I am maybe…a third? Yeah, I should consider cutting some scenes. I’ll bring that up with the writing group when this story hits their eager paws in a few months. First, I have to finish bringing around Serve Me Now. My wife finished it, and she has brought up some salient points – yes, I did rush the ending and left some dangling threads. No, the story kept her entertained even though she admitted she wasn’t the target audience. Maybe, the ending could be tweaked a little with the wrapping up of those loose threads. I trust her judgment and will fix those and others for the second draft.

I’m still outlining Your Tribe, Our Tribe and there are some changes happening from my initial concept. The antagonist Bobby is actually going to have a job with Edgar, this is how they meet now. Originally, Bobby was going to be the type of person that always seemed to have money but no job. Changing that now so that Bobby can work on him for a lot longer. I’ve outlined the first act and I am working on the second act. Maybe I’ll have the outline done by the end of the month and the novel I am working on now done by the middle of August. We’ll see.

Hope you all stay well and safe.

The Five Hundred and Sixtieth Post: The One Where I Say ‘John, I’m Only Outlining…”

Double extra internet points if you get the reference.

I’m still juggling two projects, but that’s honestly nothing new for me. What’s new for me right now is that I am not ditching the first project to completely throwing myself into the second one and making that empty promise that I’ll get back to it someday. Someday is the graveyard of promises.

Maybe I’m maturing as a writer? Stop laughing.

I’m only writing the outline for this next novel, Your Tribe, Our Tribe, with the notion that is something happens, I can hand off all the notes to someone else and they can pick up and follow through. I also tend to forget scenes and I have to scramble to add them in when I do the re-writing. With the outline, I hope to have all the scene there and noted. No more forgotten scene!

I am still writing The Show Must Go On, and I am getting to the big reveal for the main character that he’s being cheating on. I’ve been waiting to write that scene for a while, but I couldn’t figure out how to make it subtle enough so that the reader could think that Chip is making a mountain out of a molehill. I think I have the idea – just a simple hip bump from Lin onto Joe. It looks innocuous enough, but it definitely clues Chip into what’s going on.

I’m not really sure what to do after the werewolf book is done. The haunted house story can’t really do forward until I do a little more research. I also want to dig into the vampire story I have – this one bringing gore and horror back to vampires – and it’s a little more formulated in my head. I might just do that one after the werewolf story. I am still trying to get four novels out of this year of horror. Next year is going to be fantasy and finishing up a couple of novels abandoned to the land of Someday.

This month also has a lot of good movies opening up. The Flash, Spider-Man across the Spiderverse, Asteroid City (never seen a Wes Anderson film before, so this looks like a good introduction), No Hard Feelings (can Jennifer Lawrence do comedy? We’ll see), and Indiana Jones and the Dial of Destiny. All of them look like great films, and it looks like my pace will slow down a little this month, but it will be worth it if these are good films.

Well, that’s all for now, speaking of pacing. I should try to get back to work and get some more of this chapter down before Chip realizes he’s being done wrong.

Ta-ta and stay safe.

The Five Hundred and Fifty-Ninth Post: The One Where You’re Going to Need The Urban Dictionary!

Edging…is not a term you’d think you’d run into in a blog about writing, but that’s what I am kinda doing. Well – I’m working The Show Must Go On, but to satisfy that itch in my head to write Your Tribe, Our Tribe, I am doing all the prep work. Naming all the characters, writing down the beats and listing the ice cream scenes to make sure I don’t skip anything. For this one, so far there are only these: Edgar’s awakening in the woods, Edgar and Moe, round one; Edgar and Moe, round two; the chase through the park, the final fight. Not enough to flesh out a 70-80K word novel, but I can get there. As long as I don’t sit down and start writing the text, I’ll be fine. Really. Stephen King does this all the time (I’m sure).

The current project is coming along, a bit reluctantly. I’m on the cusp of writing one of the newer ice cream scenes with the main characters being invited to be on a panel at a convention for paranormal enthusiasts. That’s where the big reveal for Lin’s infidelity with Chip (if people haven’t figured it out by now) will happen, but first I have to get through the haunted schoolyard. This part feels like it’s dragging a little, and it might get cut down or changed a little during edits. It is coming together, but it feels like everyone on the set would much rather be somewhere else. Or maybe I’m projecting. Who knows?

This weekend I am going to start the re-writes for Serve Me Now and I hope to keep it up through out the year. I am anticipating finishing the whole thing by next year, if not a little later. I don’t know if it needs one or two rounds – all depends on whether or not I should try submitting this for publication or not. Still haven’t made up my mind about that, yet. I can certainly use the feather in my cap, but I also want to have a little more control over it. I don’t really know. This would be a big step for me. I guess it all depends on how impatient I am about getting this out into the world. I’ll have to do some research, obviously, and find some small publishers looking for a horror novel. That doesn’t bode well, sadly.

Well, that’s all for now. Please check out the books to the right, make a purchase or give me some coffee to support the blog. Ta-ta and stay safe.

The Five Hundred and Fifty-Eighth Post: The One Where I Need Calamine On The Brain!

Ooh, I can feel that itch. That new story itch in the back of my mind. While I am working on The Show Must Go On, my head is working out Your Tribe, Our Tribe. I’m going to admit, it’s hard to stay the course when I get a new idea, so I am trying to satisfy the itch by working on little things: names of characters and the basic outline and motivations of the various characters until it comes time to start writing…which will hopefully be by the end of next month. Not tying myself to a deadline – for that way lies madness. I am trying to hold onto the goal of finishing four first drafts of novels (at least) by the end of the month. A secondary goal is to get one of those titles published by Hallowe’en.

Your Tribe, Our Tribe as also one of the few times I ma going to write horror – or anything for that matter – with a explicit message. Trust me. I am the last person to be spinning a morality tale, but the idea is something worth doing, and hopefully I can do it right.

I’m also counting down the day until Gen Con and my first big vacation of the year. I’m not going to miss an update though. I might post some pictures when I get back home, but I am not going to be writing there – it’s only four days and I know I am going to be exhausted from walking around. It’s going to be a great vacation.

There isn’t much else going on – Serve Me Now is getting reviewed by the writing group and (speaking of conventions) The Show Must Go On is getting a convention chapter after I finish the current one…which I have little idea what’s going on in this one. That’s the life of a pantser writer.

Stay safe out there, and hope to talk with you soon.

The Five Hundred and Fifty-Seventh Post: The One Where I Give Away The Plot!

So, I have an idea for a vampire novel that is going to address one of the complaints I have about vampires and how they’re currently viewed in pop culture.

I am personally exhausted with the notion of vampires being avatars for raw sex. Vampires as lovers, or objects of desire for me has been played out. I want to go back to the idea of being a vampire being something horrific in the short term.

So, I thought just how bad is it to be a vampire, but not know what to do. No sire, no instruction – just wham-bam-fanged-you-ma’am and left on the side of the road. Sure – vampire lore is everywhere, and the main character isn’t completely ignorant, but everything else the main character needs to learn is going to be on their own (haven’t decided if the main character is going to be male or female). It’s a good idea, and I am going to work on it closer to the end of the year. When I finish The Show Must Go On, and the werewolf book Your Tribe, Our Tribe, I’ll work on the vampire book tentatively titled Fang Baby.

I amazingly got up on time this morning, and not hitting the snooze button three or four times. I got a lot of work done today. The only change I had to my evening routine was I went to the gym shortly before I went to bed. Didn’t write, but I did walk a few miles. This morning, when I woke this morning, I was fully awake – not bleary minded or anything like that. I felt good. I even wrote 850 words in about an hour. I’m going to try to repeat this and see if I can develop a habit. It was just weird to wake up and get right to the shower and breakfast, If I try to repeat what I did this morning for the next morning, then I need to figure out when to go to the gym since today is laundry day and that takes a good chunk of my time.

Is there anything else going on? Not really. Still focusing on getting the current novel done in a month and a half, then moving on to the next one. I want to have at least four novels first draft finished by the end of the year with one ready for publication. Whether it’s going to be picked up by a publisher or not – who knows? Still mulling that over in my head.

Take care, and stay safe.

The Five Hundred and Fifty-Sixth Post: The One Where I Change Antagonists in Mid-Stream!

I’m going to work on Your Tribe, Our Tribe after I finish the current work. I’ve noticed that my last few works featured female protagonists, and I should take a break from that. Well…that and Breeder isn’t coming together like I want it to, but YourTribe, Our Tribe is bubbling along quite nicely. Given the themes of identity and groups vs. individuals are really salient today, I should strike while the iron is hot for a change.

The Show Must Go On is coming along very well, even though my writing habits are becoming spotty again. I’m about to declare one of the secondary characters dead and really kick off the strangeness. I’m excited to do this, because we’re getting into the horror of the story, and I’ve been itching to get into that real deep. I am still looking forward to having this done by the middle of next month, but for my own mental health, I’m calling that a soft finish line. I guess the schedule will be that I write in the morning, afternoon and evening, but on the weekend, carve out an hour or two for re-writes for ServeMe Now. Now that the text is finished, I am getting better ideas on what I should have included. Working them in is going to be a task, but it has to get done and get done soon before I can try submitting this book to a traditional publisher.

Yes, I decided, and I am going to try to get this book out there for a small to medium sized press. I am going to try to get it published that way for a year. If nothing happens by the end of the year, I will self-publish again. I have a good feeling about this book. I can feel things coming together with it. Maybe horror is my genre? Who knows? Comedy and fantasy haven’t really worked out well for me.

Well, having said all of this, I do need to get to work. Thanks for stopping by, check out my books to the right of screen, and feel free to donate a cup of coffee to the cause.

The Four Hundred and Fifty-fifth Post: The One Where I Continue My Streak of Literary Masochism!

I have to admit, there is a difference in writing during Nanowrimo (camp or otherwise) than writing other months of the year. With the down months, there is a little more freedom. I’m not obsessing over numbers and word count…not that seven hundred words is a lot. I’m a little more relaxed. I don’t worry over not hitting the word count for the session, and missing a session doesn’t put me into a funk for the rest of the day.

So why do it? Why do I put myself through the gauntlet now twice a year?

Your services will no longer be required…

The reason is because while I am doing it, I get a sense of accomplishment. Sadly, I don’t finish most works I start (I swear, I’ll get to them one day). With Nanowrimo, I have a goal, I have a plan and I have other people working with me. It makes it all bearable. Would I recommend doing it? Sure. The only way you’re going to see if you have the stamina to do such a thing is to do it. Okay, this isn’t like running a marathon in a physical sense, but there is some discipline to it.

So, right now I’m working on The Show Must Go On. This one is a little bit of a challenge for me since I don’t write first-person point-of-view often, if at all. This one is another horror offering to keep up with this year’s theme of horror novels only. Serve Me Now has been finished for a few days – actually finished it ahead of schedule! – and is getting ready for re-writes, of which there will be plenty. I need more conflict between the main character and her boyfriend. I don’t think I really hit the ‘cosmic horror’ vibe I was looking for, either. Look for this to come out no sooner than next year to be honest. It’s going to take a while through the writing group.

That’s all for now. I’m keeping pretty busy and hoping to get another novel finished this year. My overarching goal is to write four: Serve Me Now, Breeder, The Show Must Go On, Your Tribe, Our Tribe. I’d like to write more, but those are the only ideas I have for now. Thanks for reading, and I hope you have a good day!

The Four Hundred and Fifty-fourth Post: The One Where The Cat in the Box is Reading My Novel…

I can haz review?

Apologies for the lateness, but I had finished the book as far as word count goes – wrote 60,000 words in about 22 days – but as far as the story goes, I need to finish one chapter and then I am completely done. It’s turning into quite the Schrödinger’s Novel – both done and undone. There are a couple of chapters that I might pad, but there is definitely one chapter I need to finish. I don’t know if I want to pad them or not. I might bring them it up to the writer’s group. So far, it looks like the whole novel is going to end up with a fist draft of 62-63,ooo words. After that I need to trim off 10% and then bring it to another group (if it’s still there). I am leaning towards getting trying tradpublishing this so I really want to get the word count down to something that is appealing.

On other news, I think I have a werewolf story to round out the four for the year. I was

going to do something along the lines of “My 300-lb Conjoined Twin” to throw in some body horror and a light poking fun of reality shows. However, this werewolf idea is too good to pass up. The title (taken from lyrics to a Soulfly song called “Tribe) is Your Tribe, My Tribe. I hope I’m breaking some sort of new ground…because I am bored with shifter romance. I want to bring some sense of madness back to werewolves. We’ll see what happens.

There’s not a whole lot going on here to be honest. I’m just trying to finish this book before the end of the month, and me being the procrastinating type will probably not get it done until 11:59:59.99 PM April 30th. Here’s to writing while one’s hair is on fire!

The Four Hundred and Fifty-third Post: The One Where I Looks Like I Might Finish Something For A Change…

I am so close to finishing the novel. I just need to pad the final chapter and write a couple that I skipped over (Candy Coated Freakout and Serve Me Now, respectively) while writing the first draft. After that – I am done with the first draft and I can begin the re-writes and the edits. Hopefully, I can keep this a still tight 60K words. Once all of that is done – I get to do the thing I like the least (even less than re-writes and editing) is trying to design the cover, but I am going to worry about that later.

It feels so good to be near the end of this. The next project is going to be The Show Must Go On. This one is going to be a total re-write from what I had initially started. This one is going to be a first-person, which is my weakest P.O.V. writing. I haven’t written that many, so I am looking forward to the challenge. While I am writing that, I am going to brainstorm for my third horror book called Breeder and it’s my first haunted house story. I have another idea that definitely needs to be fleshed out a little bit more called The Golden Ticket, and we’ll see what happens from there.

I’m hoping that some of my other books will get picked up from these four horror books. I just need to find the genre that I can profit from. I’m going to get back to The Marvelous and Malefic Doomsday Medicine Show since it has both a horror and fantasy vibe to it, but I want to spend 2023 getting a better platform put together.

And that’s all that this year is for me – trying on horror since that’s a genre I love nd have read plenty of. The other one is fantasy…even though I never read Lord of the Rings. Yes, yes – please feel free to clutch your pearls and swoon. I’m just not a fan of the writing. Worldbuilding? Holy crap – I wish I could get to that level of detail. Besides, I’ve seen the movie dozens of times and it’s a source of inspiration for me.

Mostly, I am ready for this book to be done. I’m ready to move on to the next project and start that over again. I have a better feel for the beats, and I’ve been watching enough ghost hunting shows that I think I can fake a good one. I just have to get this one finished. Three chapter, I should get that done by the end of the month. I hope I didn’t jinx myself.

Not helping…