The Three Hundred Twenty-Second Post: The One Where I Remark On My Pecularities…

Hello, everyone! I didn’t get a whole lot done because I wasn’t able to get to the office yesterday. I might have tweeted about it.  My car has a problem with the air conditioning. I found the root of the problem: I don’t have one. Apparently, there was some larger issue and it called for the removal of the compressor as a patch. So, I went to the mechanic, think that I still had the ailing compressor and it would be about $200 to replace.

Nope.  A minimum of $1,000 to add one.  Fine.  I don’t really go that far now that I’m a (quasi) working writer. The farthest I go on the work week is to the “office” and that’s only six miles away. I could walk it, but if anyone here has lived in the Louisville area knows that there is no heat, but varying degrees of humidity. The sticky, Southern, energy-sapping humidity. So, I decided to stay home while the mechanics opened the hood to the car and said “Well — there’s your problem!” and slammed it shut.

For some odd reason, I can’t work at home. Yes, it’s the American Dream: my commute could be nothing more than drifting through the kitchen, plopping down in front of the computer desk in my living room and fire up the old Scrivener. Two thousand words later, I can turn off the program and turn on Facebook or anything like that.

Let me walk you through how that’s not going to happen in my lifetime and yours, too.

First off: While I have a serviceable kitchen, the kitchen table has become a filing system. I don’t have enough room to set up a bowl of cereal and a cup of milk. So, I eat in the living room. At my desk. The morning routine is set in stone:

  1. Wake up, eat breakfast, read webcomics.
  2. Take a look at Facebook.
  3. Stay on Facebook — exchange witty repartee, make funny remarks, save cat pictures.
  4. Realize I’ve spent three hours trying to think of a funny caption for the AD&D Group (picture of a monster surging up from a sewer taking a group of adventurers by surprise — my caption: “ROTO-ROOTER!”)
  5. Spend another two hours playing Pot Farmer.
  6. Realize that my day is now a quarter of the day through and I’m still in my shorts.

I can’t work at home because the computer is such a huge distraction to me.  I do all my work on an old laptop. Now, you could say: “So, use the laptop and stay home, doofus.” I would respond: “I still have the TV, the Blu-Ray Player, Apple TV, Amazon Prime, the refrigerator and the people walking by the house chatting about how if they think they’re going to let him back in, they can line up and kiss my ass (you go girl).

Frankly, home is the biggest set of distractions I have. So, I head out to the office and write there. Counter-intuitive as it sounds, I can get a lot done in the office than I can at home. Two thousand words? No problem. I just shut off the Wi-Fi so my battery can last the three hours I need it to last to write. I plug-in my headphones and either listen to music or radio. I can come in, get some coffee and work to my little heart’s content. Hey, it works.

As far as what’s happening with the novel, I did push the deadline up a little…as long as it’s done and off to the professional editor by August, I’ll be fine. My ultimate goal is to get this finished by the first of August, then start on the fantasy novel (The Marvelous and Malefic Doomsday Medicine Show) for August, September and October. If everything works out right I can swing into Supercapitalist for NaNoWrimo. December can be spent either finishing up a long-standing project or a quick one for cash. This is fun and all, but I need to get something in my bank account.

Well, I think that’s everything for now. I’m going to talk about a project next time…or maybe review a film after I get my two thousand down for tomorrow.

Have a good evening.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

The Three Hundred Twenty-First Post: The One Where I Try To Get Back Into Some Sort Of Rhythm…

Hello, all — I know that I have been out for a few days from both insomnia and really not a lot going on here as far as writing goes.  Not that I’m not working (I’ve been working as fast as I can) or anything, but I’ve been focusing more on Lard of Love rather than my vampire tale.  Also, I’m getting ready for my second fantasy series called Drinker, Jester, Flirter, Spy.  OK…so my research is really just watching Burn Notice, but you would be surprised about how much tradecraft you can learn from that show.  Absolutely has nothing to do with the women in scene changes.  Nope.  Nothing at all.

Lard of Love is dragging a little bit for me, and there is really nothing left for the vampire tale except a lot of historical research.  So, I am working on the characters for the other fantasy story just because I can’t seem to focus on just one story.  This one is based off of a gaming character I made (aren’t they all?) and I’m working it into the same fantasy world as The Ushabit Series, The Marvelous and Malefic Doomsday Medicine Show, The Ridden and at least four hundred years after the events of The Quietest Heart (on sale at the right hand side).  I always try to come up with an elevator pitch for the books that I write (in order: ‘Dr. Frankenstein meets Lord of the Rings while doing a Larry McMurry cosplay’; ‘Dr. House meets the Biblical Legion’; ‘Sybil and Raiders of the Lost Ark take a road trip through Lonesome Dove’).  So far, the elevator pitch for this is shaping up to be: MI-6 recruits Monty Python to infiltrate Fredonia.  Doesn’t really encapsulate the serious parts of the story, but it’s enough to hopefully get an agent to look at it.

Back to Lard of Love, my erstwhile romance novel.  It’s dragging a little bit because we’re heading into a part that I really haven’t thought through.  I just have to try to work through it and get to the next scene I have written in my head…which isn’t going to be for a while because that’s at least two acts away.  The main character is a fat guy.  I can get away with saying that because I, too am a fat guy.  To answer your next question: no, this is not autobiographic.  I just wanted to write a story in which the fat guy gets the girl rather than the fat guy being the main character’s best friend and certainly not an object of sexual affection.  I’ll just keep working at it.  I’m not hating it yet, but the pace is not doing any favors for me.

Well, that’s all for now.  Tomorrow, I need to get back to work on the current one, just work through the slow part, try to make something of it and get to another good part (maybe the main character could give a chubby chaser’s convention a shot?  Speed dating?) to keep me going.  I also need to get the car taken in to fix the air conditioner before the worse of the heat hits…then again, I’m in The South — while technically it is spring, but the thermometers are telling me it’s 103 degrees (or 93 degrees.  How can there be a ten degree difference in just two blocks?).  With that in mind, I’m going to get to visit the mechanics so we can see about getting the car to keep from dying for at least another five years.

Thanks for reading, as always — please look at the links on the right for current works (I promise to put something up soon) and there is a donation QR if you have Bitcoin.  Hope you all have a good evening, and I’ll chat with you again.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

The Three Hundred Nineteenth Post: The One Where I Give Credit Where Credit Is Due…

The reason why I call the main category “The Background Chatter In My Head” is because it’s precisely that: it’s what I’m writing in my head, even when I should be concentrating on other things…like cooking, laundry or driving.  Sometimes, there is an idea or a concept that’s in my head that runs around for a while.  This one is going to show up in a couple of my works: the vampire story I’ve been blathering about for a while, and another one which I might discuss later — it’s a take on a very popular Biblical tale.

The concept is the idea of a mentor.  Now, when we thing of a mentor, we tend to think of people who have been instrumental in helping us understand the world and our place in it. Mine are Leslie Dressler and Amanda Hillard-Beam.  These two women have been central in me becoming the writer I am trying to be today.  They have been kind, generous with their wisdom and their time.  They are a sterling example of a good mentor.

What if the mentor wasn’t so good?  What if the mentor seemed to have something against the pupil?  What if your mentor said flat-out that they would not help you, threw a beer bottle at you and said to scram?

What if your mentor was bad?

It doesn’t seem to make sense.  A mentor should at least not want their student to die — even if that’s what it would take to get through their thick skull.  Mentors in TV, stage and cinema were at the very least cranky drunkards who bullied and shoved their student to education and then tell them ‘you had it in you all along’.  They may be crass, but at least they had their student’s best interests at heart.  We have at the other end of the spectrum: the noble and wise teacher, gently pushing their student past their limits with gentle encouragement (or in the case of the Star Wars series, where the notion of mentor was cemented in my young brain) and ultimately stepping aside (or getting a lightsaber jammed in their bellies) to give the student the chance to fly on their own.

The idea of a mentor doing harm isn’t a new one, I know that, but I’m just turning the idea around in my head as what the vampire could be to our protagonist as first, but he’s been a vampire for so long, he might forget (or is he?) that his student is a little bit on the squishy side.  While it’s not actively trying to kill him, but he is certainly making our pseudo-Harker remember the lessons.  While it’s not necessarily a bad mentor, I would certainly hope he grades on a curve.

The other bad mentor I was thinking of is nothing more than the Devil himself.  Him being a harmful mentor is really par for the course.  The notion I am having deals with something that has bugged me for a while: what happened to Abel after he died.  I can see all the theology students raising their hands and stamping their feet for attention (yes, I know that he went to ‘the Bosom of Abraham’ and if you’re a Catholic, he was carried up to Heaven by Jesus during the Harrowing, but that’s not my point).  However, I am not going to let facts get in the way of a good story.  The idea is that Abel discovers a new world after death, and runs into something that is called It-That-Is which enslaves the spirits of the dead.  Abel needs help, and the only one that can help him is Morningstar (try not to call him that, it brings up bad memories).  Obviously, there will be bad blood between the two from that whole Fruit Incident, but there is nowhere else that Abel can go for help.  This is an idea that isn’t going to be worked on for a while because I want to this to an epic series along the lines of “A Song of Fire and Ice” or “The Dark Tower”.  So, there may be notes here and there.

Well, that’s it for now.  I wanted to give some heartfelt thanks to my mentors — who may or may not want to do me harm — and talk about something else in my head.  Thanks for reading and I hope you have a pleasant evening.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

 

 

The Three Hundred Eighteenth Post: The One Where I Try to Find My Plastic Glow-In-The-Dark Fangs…

Hello, everyone!  As I am getting ready to get this vampire story fleshed out, I’ve talked about the protagonist a little, but now I want to look at the antagonist.  I’ve called in a vampire, but that’s only because I want to get myself (or the reader) into a certain mindset about the character.  And what is that mindset you ask?

That this guy is mad, bad and dangerous to know.  Much like Lord Byron.

Earlier on, I explained that I wanted to bring back the menace and danger to vampires.  There is a lot we can still do with this particular archetype that doesn’t have to be limited to just sex (although as Stephen King points out in Danse Macabre — that’s what they’re there for), but it can be for any sort of lust.  Lust for money?  Sure — you ever seen a poor vampire?  Lust for power?  Have you ever seen a vampire worry about his voice not being heard in city hall?  Vampires are the spirits of lust given form and substance.  Sex is picked because it’s the most primal and the one that almost everyone can identify with.

I don’t want to call them vampires, though.  That word still has a lot of baggage to it.  Yeah, i said that I wanted to use the word vampire to put myself in a mindset, but I don’t want that word to be used  in the manuscript.  I don’t want my protagonist to suddenly jump up and yell “BLOODY HELL!  YOU’RE A VAMPIRE!

That is not going to help matters.

So, I’m going to call them vampires, but I am going to give them a couple of traditional weaknesses so that the reader can begin to pick up on things, but still leave it open to the reader should they choose to not believe that a bloodsucking fiend from hell could be a bit on the ornery side.

Well, I’m starting to feel a little mentally fuzzy, so I am going to make it an early evening here.  When I come back tomorrow, I’ll get back to the character of the antagonist and maybe think of some ways he can be a mentor to the protagonist and some ways he can be a jerk to him.

Thanks for reading and I hope you have a good day.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

 

The Three Hundred Seventeenth Post: The One Where I Realize I’m an Idiot and Have to Fix a *Lot* of Posts…

Hey — did you know that the word ‘and’ when written with numbers — like…say…the title of a wildly popular writer’s blog — that the ‘and’ means a decimal?  Like…say if I mention that this post before this one was the Three Hundred and Sixteenth Post, it would be written out in numbers like this: 300.16.  Which would be cool if it were say… my income from writing for the month.  Not cool for listing off how many blog posts I’ve done so far.

Math.  Numbers.  From Hell’s heart, I stab at thee.

Speaking of stabbing — I’ve been working fairly consistently with the current project “Lard of Love”, but the story is starting to take a life of its own.  I was really trying to keep everything neat and tidy, but now I’m still not to the first date, and I’m almost halfway through the word count (was going to be a prim and proper 55K when it finished, but now it’s at 35K, sitting on the couch and demanding wheelbarrows of Twinkies).  I’m not upset or shouting at my screen for the characters to get on with it, but this is what would happen if I didn’t have some sort of outline.  Of course, all of this is for naught because the daily word count is what matters and that I have stuck to self-imposed deadline of finishing this novel by the end of June so I can get to my next and currently the one I am really jazzed up about.

Speaking of getting jazzed up — I did mention I was going to talk a little about the protagonist for the vampire idea I had…but there’s really nothing new for me to reveal.  He is going to be a slightly squishy hero, because he needs to rise to face the Evil before him…but in the beginning, the protagonist and antagonist are going to be friends…maybe even have the antagonist start out as a mentor figure.  I am not sure about adding in a love interest.  I am personally getting fatigued with the idea that the hero needs to a girl threatened to jar him into action.  Or a guy.  I’m just trying to find some other reason for our intrepid hero to face someone who would probably get into chainsaws if he would just give them a chance.  I’ll toss it around in my head for a couple of days.  We’ll see what happens.

Speaking of running a joke into the ground…I should actually head off to bed.  I’m getting better at writing every day, and I want to be fresh(-ish) for the morning.  Hence why my ‘office’ is a Starbucks.  Free Wi-fi and relatively inexpensive coffee is the quicked way to my heart.

Good night, everyone.  As always, thanks for reading and feel free to check out the offerings on the right, and the bitcoin tip jar.  I am trying to get something set up with PayPal.  I might have to stretch the truth and say that this blog is for charity.

The nuns at Our Lady of Mercy would be so proud of me.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

The Three Hundred and Sixteenth Post: The One Where Google and I Are Going to Shack Up Together…

Yesterday, I discussed the secondary protagonist Nigel (not his permanent name, seriously) and I mentioned that next time I was going to talk about the world that this book takes place in: World War I Europe.

Of which I know next to nothing.  This is not the biggest problem I am going to face, thanks to Google, Amazon and Wikipedia.  My biggest problem is going to be picking what time period I want the different acts to take place in.

The issue I have is that America isn’t really central to the story.  I don’t want this to end with the US Marines Expeditionary Force charging over the hill and trampling Dracula.  That’s not what the story is about.  It’s about the death of one age and the beginning of the another.  Nothing here about the dawning American Century.  Just a crazed blood sucker who doesn’t want to swap out a hand-and-a-half sword for a Steyr machine gun.

So — I’m going to have to figure out what’s what as far as acts and where everything is going to take place.  I’ve got a good idea about the first act: Merry Olde England where we find our protagonist.  Not so sure about the second, third or fourth acts, but the fifth act should definitely take us back to England.  Yes, I give the Heroic Cycle some lip from time to time, but it works.  What about the middle?  What do I want to bring up?

Well, there are some neat battles I want to bring in: Mons and Ypres to start with.  Mons just to see if I can incorporate the myth of the Angels of Mons into it somehow.  I don’t know if I want to have the protagonist get signed up right away (if I do, then there is a really good story potential lost there) or I want to wait.  Just a quick look at the article about the Battle of Mons tells me that there’s no way I can do that — the Battle of Mons is the first battle fought by the British Expeditionary Force.  Oh, well…I’ll have to look for some other legendary battles and myths during the middle of the war.  I’m sure I’ll find something.  or I can just make it up.   It’s not like Dracula is going to sue me or anything.

When I come back Monday, I think I am going to really get into the protagonist.  I want to get everything set up for this poor man because he’s going to be pretty much the spirit of the age.  I have to admit, I have cribbed this idea (slightly) from Alan Moore’s From Hell.  Although my protagonist isn’t doing anything as nefarious as Jack the Ripper, but I love the idea that there is something beyond our ken that pushed humanity into the age we know.

Thank you for dropping by and reading my blatherings.  On the right of the screen is my current work, a bitcoin tip jar and works of dear friends.  Feel free to click and look about.  I hope y’all have a good evening.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy