The Five Hundred and Seventy-sixth Post: The One Where I Actually Open Up About Something That’s Bothering Me…

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Can I get real for a minute?

I’m getting ready to write the outline for my next, and last horror book of the year.

I’m going to write about a native Kenyan schizophrenic coming over to America and losing his mind. I’m a pasty white boy from Virginia who’s never crossed the Rockies, much less been overseas. I’m no schizophrenic. I’m not sane either (heh). The only thing I have going for me is that I have done a lot of research into schizophrenia – in fact, this book is based on a study I happened to have stumbled across while looking for something else entirely.

I don’t have the background for this.

I don’t even think this is my book.

I’ll just quietly retreat from all of this and go back to comedy…

Now, I have written about murder, without having committed a murder. I’ve written about elves without having pointed ears and a six-hundred-year outlook on life. I’ve written about cannibalism without having so much as biting someone in anger. Why do I feel so nervous about this particular book?

Is it the climate that this book is being written in? The fact that I have put in the kind of work that I have, and my whole career can be killed even before it gets off the ground by someone calling a racist? Even if I take the time to defend my position, would anyone bother to hear it? The pessimist in me (a loud, old man to be sure) says that no one is going to care. The label will be slapped on me and that will be that.

If only that many people *read* the book…

Should I write this book, though? I could easily hand it off to someone else. Someone who has more experience than me in certain matters. I can finish the outline, drop off photocopies of everything and say “Good luck! Remember me in the author’s dedication list!”. Being a ghost writer is an honorable profession. So is using a pseudonym. We can ask Anne Rampling how that worked out for her.

I would hand it off to someone, even offer to write it for them and give them credit…but my ego would never allow it. I could not stay quiet if I gave this away and it became a success. The bitterness would overtake me so fast, it’d make your head spin. The rest of my life would be chasing that success to reclaim it.

What should I do, then? Write it and then quietly smother the baby in the crib? Set all my research aside and hope to find someone willing to be the front face of this particular book? The pressure behind the sunk-cost fallacy is real.

The Five Hundred and Seventy-Fifth Post: The One Where I Succeed Finally!

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I finally did it! I got something finished before a (moved back twice) deadline! The Catastrophic Christmas Party is finished and off for editing and a first read through! I have a few days which I am going to use to start to do the spell-check and some lighter editing. The deep editing is going to happen during October and possibly November, but it looks like it will be ready by December, barring any unforeseen circumstances.

Shown: Relief

This is good, not only for morale, but I now have all of October to get my last horror book outlined and finish up the research – which is now solely about non-drug therapies for schizophrenia. That’s all I am doing in October to get it done before November first, when I take off for Nanowrimo. This book is going to be written during November and December and will hopefully break the 100K mark, which would make it the longest book I have ever written with the objective of putting it to market.

I haven’t has a successful year like this in a while, to be bluntly honest. It’s rare (sadly) that I finish a rough draft, and here I am sitting on three right now (Serve Me Now, The Show Must Go On, The Catastrophic Christmas Party) and gearing up for a fourth one to be finished before year’s end. Could I be maturing as a writer? I’m certainly not maturing as anything else….

As much as I would like to bask in the afterglow for a few minutes, I have to keep going. Next year is going to be fantasy, with the intent of finishing two long standing projects: Unbound and The Marvelous and Malefic Doomsday Medicine Show. I am hoping that finishing the untitled schizophrenia project will give me enough confidence to finish these two books over the course of the year. Maybe even tackle a third one? Who knows? If there is a third, I don’t know if it should be a sequel (Unbound is a part of a trilogy) or a new work (of which there are dozens…dozens I tell you).

Maybe this is a good idea – dedicating a year to a genre, getting things done and moving on? It worked with horror, and there’s no reason why it shouldn’t work with fantasy and then the year after that with romance. Maybe that’s the best balance. A year gives me a chance to work on something but doesn’t really tie me down if my choices change. I can clear four books a year – long ones if I can hold steady, and if needed be, I can whip out a short one (like another Evan book) to keep ym name out there. I think I am going to run it that way.

Well, that’s all for now. I’m looking forward to getting started on a new project and completing it before year’s end. Check out the titles on the right if you’re curious as to how good I am, or how good my friends are. Until next time!

The Five Hundred and Seventy-Fourth Post: The One Where I Have to Buckle Down and WoHAHAHAHAAAAAA!

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Well, I’m about ready to start the tenth and final chapter of The Catastrophic Christmas Party and man…am I relieved. I am feeling less and less inclined to finish this and more and more inclined to throw myself into the research for the next novel. This is not a good sign for me. I should be able to finish the chapter by Sunday and pad a couple of other chapters (maybe re-write another one from the ground up). I am going to finish this by the end of September, only because I have to give Nancy enough time to read and give me her feedback…and re-write places. I know of one place I need to patch up. Still aiming for a December release date.

As far as the other project goes…I still need a better title. Immigrant Voices is a little…well, it doesn’t set well with me. It’s not like I need the title tomorrow, but I just want to find a better, more clever title. I’ll think of one, I just need to give it some time.

Speaking of the research – this is a chore that I love. My notes are pretty in depth and I take care to print them as neatly as I can with the heavy Ritma pen I use. I have more information about drug treatments for paranoia schizophrenia than I can shake a stick at. The only think I lack is information about treatment beyond drugs. I’m going to get to that this weekend, maybe Saturday night. Whee! Saturday night! No, seriously – I am looking forward to getting this done because it gets me closer to starting this novel and getting it done for printing by next year. That’s a deadline I can handle – having it done by this time next year. Will probably miss it, heh.

That’s all as far as my writing goes – trying to get one finished so I can start the other one with a clean conscience and a focused mind. I’m doing a lot better than I was this time last year. I finished the rough draft for two novels and closing in on a third – might even get a fourth draft finished by the end of the year? All depends on how quick I write. Might do the 4 A.M. thing during Nanowrimo to get a better lead off. The next one is going to be a long one at 90K words and I want to get it done by the end of December. Completely realistic.

Thanks for dropping by and taking a look at things. I hope to have some more books on the right soon to sell soon. When I do – trust me, you’ll know. Have fun, stay safe and see you soon.

The Five Hundred and Seventy-Third Post: The One Where I Need Two Matches for One Candle…

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I am so ready to end this current project. It’s not boring, it’s that I am ready to start my Nanowrimo project, even though I am not anywhere near finished with the research. I’m going to finish the current one first, obviously, because I can see the finish line – I think I have to write two more chapters and touch up at least one – and the other one is really interesting to me. I don’t think I’m going to finish it in a month. I’m aiming for 90,000 words, and I don’t think I can get that done in a month, even if I go into ‘burning candles on all three ends’ mode.

Shown: November

This is why it’s so hard for me to finish projects. I get so entranced with the next one, I abandon the unfinished one. I’m a dog on a highway – there are so many tires to choose from! I’m honestly surprised I finished two books this year and I am very close to finishing a third one. I have to focus. I have to hunt down that one car before I take off after that eighteen-wheeler.

Shown: Next Project

I’m also trying to look it as this: the fact that I finished two books is a sign that I am learning and growing as a writer. I also see it as divine influence, and I really need to get back to other projects. Next year is definitely the year of Fantasy with finishing The Deadly Barrow and The Marvelous and Malefic Doomsday Medicine Show and working on something else if I get those two done before the end of the year. Don’t know what – might be Unbound…might be something new. I might rob a bank. I might get ice cream. I’ll decide in the car.

I think that’s it for now. I just have to put the screws to my thumbs and get finished with this disastrous Christmas party so I can torment people with schizophrenia. The joys of being a writer!

The Five Hundred and Seventy-second Post: The One Where…am I Getting Stuff Done?

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I’m getting close to finishing The Catastrophic Christmas Party. I’ve hit the main scene I’ve been wanting to write ever since I came up with the idea. If things work out, I should have it done before the end of this month. Nancy can read and edit it September and October, edit it out in November and put it up for sale in December. I am considering making this a Kindle only offering. I say that because getting it formatted to paperback is a pain in the butt.

I’m having some fun researching for my Nanowrimo project. I had no idea that the voices schizophrenics hear are natured by the culture of the afflicted. Voices in America and Europe tend to be horrifying, while India and Africa tend to be gentler. I took this off of a single study I read about, but it’s nice to see that this study has been replicated. The problematic nature of this book has been solved for me, at least. I can continue forward with some confidence.

If I can finish these two works, I would have written four rough drafts in a year. This is unprecedented for me! One book is a minor miracle for me. Possibly having four rough drafts? Inconceivable!  And that I’m getting one book edited to be put out next year (I am being optimistic for this)! Things are looking up for me writing wise.

My Agent agrees with me

Next year, I am going to switch to fantasy – which means I probably won’t get to the werewolf story any time soon. The first thing is going to be to finish The Deadly Barrow and get it edited, then work on Medicine Show and get that edited. I’m slowing down a little, or it’s going to look like, but these books are huge. The Deadly Barrow is the first book in the series and that’s going to be a minimum of 80,000 words. Medicine Show is going to be over 100,000 words. If I have some time, I might work on the sequel to The Deadly Barrow…which I can’t remember the title to right now.

For the immediate future, I’m going to throw myself into outlining and researching my schizophrenic book project once Christmas Party is over, which should take me through the latter half of September and through October. November is going to be writing and maybe the first half of December. Editing won’t be for a while, but it will be done.

Good news on the weight front! I am down to 252 pounds! This new medicine is working great for me with no side effects. It’s just a single injection that I have to do once a week, which is better than two pills twice a day. Did I mention I have no more embarrassing side effects? I couldn’t have comfortably gone to GenCon without this shot. I am so thankful for it!

That’s all for now, hope you all are doing well. Catch you on the next one.

The Five Hundred and Seventy-first Post: The One Where I Need Help with Moving These Goalposts Down a Few Yards…

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Okay, I did this one to myself, but I have… well, no good reasons. I’m doing overtime at work and that’s cutting into all my time. GenCon wasn’t going to be conductive for writing and the week after was spent doing odd jobs around the house and certainly not writing. So, with all that being said – I am about two-thirds through the book, so it’s looking more like the end of September is going to be the new deadline. I have nothing happening to me, with me or near me to interfere with finishing The Catastrophic Christmas Party. October will be for reading and re-writing.

I’ve also begun looking at research for my NanoWrimo project. I am enthused about this one, since I am continuing to write horror and with any luck, this one will be finished and get me some notice. I need to get back to outlining the werewolf story and start that soon. I might get to that one for December – which isn’t that far away. Yikes. Well, at least this has been a productive year for me. I got two novels finished with their rough draft, and a third on the way (fingers crossed!). I might even be able to squeeze out a fourth, but that might be a little dicey.

One of the things I was worried about when starting the research was that I was hanging my literary hat on only one hook – a single study that could have been easily refuted. Turns out, there is a lot more evidence to back up the claim that voices in schizophrenics are dictated mostly by culture. The African continent and the East having voices that are gentler and more chiding than their Western counterparts is the whole plot point of this story. I know I am going to have issues when race is brought up (and I can see that it’s going to be), but the last thing I need is to be hamstrung by bad science.

I think next week, I am going to take a break from overtime and try to get back to writing twice a day. My home gym is also doing some renovations, so I’ll have to go to the one down the street after work. Maybe I can get steadier with gym-going and writing with a shorter workday. The money’s good, but I’m feeling funky not writing. I can’t explain it better than that.

That’s all for now. I am feeling tired, but I can solve that with more caffeine. Hope your week goes well, and I’ll see you in the next one.

The Five Hundred and Seventieth Post: The One Where I Listen for the Whoosh of a Possibly Blown Deadline…

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My confidence that I am going to complete the novel The Catastrophic Christmas Party by the end of August is waning rapidly. I have only myself to blame: I took on overtime which does cut into my writing time at home, but I need that money for next summer’s vacation. I am certain I can still get it done and published before the beginning of December. This one is not going before the writing group. My wife will read it and give advice, but this one’s going straight to Amazon like The Dreaded Day Job.

The novel itself is coming along in fits. The first part of the current chapter was a bit of a slog to get through, and the second part is coming along a lot better. I might want to consider coming back to that first part and tightening it up a bit when I begin the revisions. Having the whole conceit of the book ultimately being Evan at Christmas parties and various things going (hopefully) hilariously wrong does limit the scope, but I am having fun introducing the future love interest Sunny. It might not end up being a full 50,000 words, but closer to 40,000.

What else is going on? I got back the proof for the cover for The Show Must Go On and I am delighted with it. Next up is finish raising the capital to pay off the artist, who I will use definitely in the future. I do have tog et things together for the photoshoot for Christmas Party. I just wonder if my wife has a Santa’s cookie tray she doesn’t mind having a drill hole in it. Or maybe I’ll just buy one and sacrifice it for art. Also, need to buy an obnoxious Christmas sweater. For art, I swear.

Something less classy than this…

On the writing front there is not a lot going on beyond trying to finish this project and getting started on another (what it’s going to be is based on when I finish this current one). I haven’t even finished the outline for the werewolf book. It just slipped under the radar in the rush to get Christmas Party started. I might start it since I have quite a few chapters outlined, and just write the rest of the outline while I’m writing the first part of the book. Try to kill two birds with one stone as it were. Or hit two werewolves with one silver bullet.

I guess that’s all for now. Wish me luck in finishing up this slight interruption to the Year of Horror. I’ll see y’all later.

The Five Hundred and Sixty-Ninth Post: The One Where I Slide Under the Rapidly Closing Door!

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I’m working overtime, and that always throws me off for what day of the week it is, so I apologize for almost missing the day. Come to think about it, this whole week thus far has been in shambles. I’ve barely written or gone to the gym because I’m getting up an hour earlier to get in for overtime. I need to get back on a regular schedule.

I am still striving to finish The Catastrophic Christmas Party on time in spite of things going on around me. This Saturday will be the best time for me to do so, since I don’t have my gaming group, so I will have plenty of free time, especially since I will have to do the laundry on Friday evening so I can have something to wear on Saturday. Yes – sweatpants have gotten more comfy and they even have pockets now, but I feel like wearing them outside the house is a signal to the world that I have just given up.

I have good news on other fronts – I am getting cover art for my next horror book The Show Must Go On! Once I have made the payment, I will debut it here. The artist is very good, and I will put up contact information when I get the clearance to do so. I’m really excited about it, and I can’t wait to show everyone. The book itself won’t be out for a little while – I’m still getting Serve Me Now worked on, but once that’s done, I intend on getting the other one edited and finished quickly. I feel really good about this one.

I had a decent break over all – GenCon was a blast I will do again when I get the chance, and I will try to throw myself into more games and mini painting tutorials next time. The week afterwards was decent. Not a lot of writing because I was recovering from the convention, but now I feel like I am ready to further procrastinate! All in all – what tends to be a rather depressing month for me has been very good, and I hope to continue this feeling into the next couple of weeks and roll into September.

Well, that’s all for you. Enjoy your time here and I look forward to giving you better news soon.

The Five Hundred and Sixty-Eighth Post: The GenCon After Action Report!

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GenCon was great! I got to play a few games, one of which I hadn’t played since college. I also tried out a game that I like and I hope to be able to play again in the future. I met a couple of people and got some pictures of cosplayers. I’m going to admit that I am not the best photographer, but I am proud of some of the pictures I took.

I learned a lot about painting miniatures and found out that what I was doing initially was wrong, but I got some good correction, and I will be applying these lessons to the next set of miniatures I will be painting.

I also got some dice because I am a dice goblin at heart. I can’t wait to show them off with my gaming group Saturday. I also got a couple of books as well and some more minis to paint (correctly). I supported my favorite stores and publishers. I did good.

I also did no writing at all whatsoever. Didn’t have an idea, didn’t break out the laptop to catch up on missing days. I had a genuine vacation that was nice. I did a lot of walking, though. While I was there, I registered 10,000 step days each day I was at the convention. So, I got in my exercise as well.

I did miss the celebrities, however. I never got to see the ones that were there at GenCon because they were doing other things that I couldn’t get tickets for. Oh, well – better luck next time, I guess.

Now that the vacation is over, I am back to work and trying to get a little caught up on The Catastrophic Christmas Party by writing four times a day with 850 words a session. This is to catch up from the days off I took. I need to have this manuscript finished before the end of August so I can get it edited and ready for December publishing. I can get it done. I’ve done it before with The Dreaded Day Job and I am confident I can finish this in time.

I had a good vacation, but it’s time to get back to work.

The Rules…

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The Rules for GenCon:

  1. No laptops, notebooks, fancy-schmancy pens. This is a vacation, and I am going to play my little brains out. No writing.
  2. We’re not going to stress out over time by leaving early enough for the events that I got tickets for. I have the schedule on my phone, so I have no real excuse to miss or be late for an event.
  3. I have a certain amount of money. I am not going to exceed that amount. Yes – I am going to buy from my favorite merchants, but I am not going to go hog wild. I also need to feed and hydrate myself.
  4. Speaking of feeding and hydrating myself: I can’t be too lax with my diet. I can indulge a little now and then, but I must maintain my diet for my health.
  5. If I happen to see a celebrity (and I intend on running into this guy), I am going to comport myself professionally. I will ask for an autograph, not gush and thank them for their time. I accept that I will be nervous and maybe a little hesitant to ask for an autograph – they are human beings and will not bite, taze or mace me (hopefully).
  6. I am going to take a lot of pictures. I will not be bashful in getting permission. I will walk up to them and ask permission.

How many of these am I going to follow? 2-6 definitely, but number 1? I will be honest – I don’t know. The writer part of my brain I can’t turn off. While I am not going to have my laptop with me (I am afraid to lose it), I can’t guarantee that I am not going to buy a notebook. I am a sucker for those homemade leather books that GenCon is going to have in spades. I probably will buy one of those because I like them so much. I’ll use it to take notes, directions and more than likely since I have said that this is a vacation, my muse will no doubt go into overtime with ideas.

The reason why I have rules 5 and 6 is because – believe it or not – I am a very, very shy person. Approaching other people is difficult for me to do, asking for an autograph is almost impossible. Usually, I have my wife do things like this because she’s way better at it than I am. However, I am going to push myself to go out there and be a little more extroverted. My wife is going to be with me for most of the time – there are late night games, and I am not going to keep her here until 1 A.M. I’m going to take her back to the hotel room so she can get some sleep. I am going to take a tablet for her to watch some TV on it. She’s not a table-top gamer like I am, and I want her to have a good time, too.

When it’s over, I am going to load up some of the better photos I took and put them up here in the blog. Will you see me? Maybe.