The One Hundred and Tenth Post: The One Where I Tell You Why I’ve Stopped Watching ‘Revolution’ After Two Episodes…

Now, I like post-apocalyptic fiction, especially in movies – I’m not limiting myself to just zombie movies. I loved the Mad Max movies and I loved the novel The Road (yeah, it’s depressing as anything, but it’s well written), so when I heard about ‘Revolution’, I was thrilled. When I saw that ‘Gus’ from ‘Breaking Bad’ was going to be in it, I was ecstatic. I watched the first episode and I felt that it was OK – left some questions to be answered, but that is the job of the pilot episode. Now some people have asked some questions about the world and how some things operate – I am one of them and I had a few questions that I would like to see answered by some post-apocalyptic series or movie:

  1. Where the hell are the bikes? The skateboards? Mopeds? (Lord knows we have enough of those things buzzing around here) I know the central premise of the story is that electricity no longer works, but what about gears? Seriously – road bikes are very efficient for travelling long distances and mountain bikes are still very hardy. Bicycles themselves require little in the way of maintenance. Screw raiding the gun shops and grocery stores – I’m hitting the Schwinn Shop to get a couple of road bikes, a mountain bike, some helmets and patch kits (no, I am not getting those lycra bike shorts until I’ve lost weight – the world has ended… hasn’t it suffered enough?).
  2. This is the big one: Main character has a flashback to when she was a child. Her parents (one of them being a scientist that predicted this event and had a back-up plan) were at the university when the girl playing with a ball (the main character) had it bounce away from her (the dad was inside getting something, so it was just her, her little brother and their mother) and a guy picked it up. Naturally, he was giving off the creepy vibe and took her hostage, asking in an even tone for the food they had. The father comes out, sees that his daughter is captive and raises his pistol to the man’s head. The man calls his bluff and gives away the food. We cut away to him rolling along with the wagon of food:


    Husband: You give that food back! I swear to God I’ll shoot!

    Man: No, you won’t.


    … and the guy was right, because we hear a shot and the guy flops down dead. Camera cuts back to reveal the mother with the gun in her hand, the barrel smoking and her hand not shaking a whit.


    Now here comes my unpopular gripe: really? Men can’t kill even in defense of their own children? You can say: “He was a professor, not really a gun person.” Why have the gun in the first place? I’m sorry, while the writer in me understands the need for this sort of thing to show that this guy isn’t going to be the stalwart, action hero type to set up his big death to kick off the series; the viewer in me just rolled his eyes and took it off of the record list on the DVR. I am not saying that women can’t kill. I’m not saying that women in television need to go back to playing weaker stereotypes, but the idea of a man not being capable of violence, while the woman is a steely-eyed machine of death (especially when it’s not set up that way in the pilot) is becoming horribly clichéd.


    The three people that know me and read this blog know that I am a fairly happy-go-lucky sort of guy. I am perfectly willing to go along to get along at times. However, if this scenario happened as listed above – there would be changes:

    1. My wife, son and daughter would stay with me at all times – or at least within earshot. If my daughter whines about it (and she wouldn’t because by now she knows better, but the stress of the times gets to the best of us), I would tell her: “Sweetie, things have changed. There are people out there now who are going to try to do things they were afraid to do before for fear of getting caught. I need you to stay with me so I can keep you safe. You need to stay with your brother to keep him safe. OK? My biggest job right now is looking after everyone here and I need you to help by staying with me.”
    2. Let’s say, for the sake of argument, I am separated from my wife and child, with me having the only gun (why didn’t the husband give her the gun in the first place? Why didn’t she have a gun for herself? This is why I’m not watching ‘Revolution’ – the writing is lazy.). I hear a disturbance and come out to see my daughter hostage to a shady looking character. Now, he thinks he’s going to say something like ‘gimmie your food and I’ll let her go’ or ‘that’s a nice daughter you have there…’. He’s not going to say much of anything, since the language center of the brain is now a pink mist exiting out the back of his head. It’s the end of the world, kids. It’s going to be anarchy. We are going to have to do what needs to be done to survive.


So – the reason why I am not watching ‘Revolution’ ultimately is lazy writing. Sorry – I wasn’t blown away by it. Better luck next time.