The One Hundred and Forty-Fifth Post: The One Where I Relay to You A Nightmare I Had…

Like a lot of the dreams I have, I can only remember bits and pieces I have, but what I can remember is kind of scary to me:

I was on a college campus (a specific college, but one I will not name for it deserves no attention) in a small town in the Carolinas and things were going along nicely. I was getting good grades in the classes, I had friends and everything was going along swimmingly… until it didn’t. Friends acted alien towards me, classes were beginning to slip and I noticed a small robot – the best way to describe it is to take Johnny 5, reduce him to an upper torso and give him a three foot long extension 45 degrees off his long axis. No matter where I went, this robot was always close by, trying to crawl towards me and I didn’t seem to like the idea. Whenever I told people about this robot, I would get the standard reply: ‘it’s not a problem to us. Why are you letting it be a problem to you?’ or even a downright denial of its existence. I ask my friends for help or advise and all I get is: ‘let it touch you and see what happens’. So I decide to take matters into my own hands and try to video it moving towards me. I take a flimsy laptop (I have no idea why I wouldn’t have my phone, or… I don’t know… a real camera with me at this point) and I wait for it to find me. While I’m waiting, I am getting everything set up on the laptop. Apparently, the camera function on this laptop needs to be registered.

The robot arrives with a new little skill: it can thrust itself into the air and drop down a few yards closer. Of course, as it demonstrates this new talent, I am still trying to get set up on the camera and it’s asking the most inane questions (“What sort of photography will you be taking? Please choose one of the offered styles: 1) business 2) pleasure 3) surreal 4) erotic 5) family”). As I say that this is a flimsy laptop, I mean that I have to use two hands to operate this thing: one to type in the answers (“In order to secure your password, you will need to create a key phrase. A key phrase is one that only you would know. Please submit a phrase that is no less than three words and no more than seven.”) and another to keep the screen and the keyboard from coming apart (a note of historical accuracy: my very first laptop – also my first computer – was like this: in order to see the screen, I had to lean it against something to keep it from breaking off). As I am trying to get this camera working on this crumbling laptop (“What you entered is an impolite phrase. Please re-type a phrase that is more family friendly.”), the robot is getting closer and looking a lot more menacing at me.

Then I wake up – an hour before my alarm goes off. I roll over on my bed and go back to sleep.

Well, time to go to work (speaking of menacing robots). Hope y’all have a good day.



Seething Apathy