The Forty-Seventh Post: The One Where I Envy Insomniacs…

Here’s what happens: I get off of work and I go to the gym, where I walk briskly for an hour and come home.  I microwave my dinner, sit down in front of the PC and try to muster up the energy to get something started.  I end up changing my seat from the PC to the couch and I watch TV.  I know I should be doing something – even this blog is someway of keeping myself to a normal schedule – but when I get home and all the day’s events drain out, I find I’m just mentally exhausted.  It is certainly not a lack of desire on my part.  I know that getting something written is my ticket into the taxi that is going to get me to right side of Vine and Hat street.  I also know that the best way of getting to that is doubling down on more caffeine.  I already drink an outrageous amount of soda:

  2012-04-03 22.28.36   Those are 24 oz. bottles, that’s enough for Wed-Friday and all of next week.

I don’t have a problem… I can quit whenever I want.

I know if I drink another soda (or two or five) I’ll stay up with enough vim and vigor to get plenty accomplished… only to crash during work, and right now work is paying the bills.  So, my question is to all the people that are trying to break into something else – dance, music, writing, anything creative – and still have a day job.  What gets sacrificed?  Are you able to maintain a high level of quality at your day job, but the creative job suffers, or it is vice versa?

OK – enough of that.  I’m going to talk about something else and give my opinion about something.  In case you haven’t heard, The New Orleans Saints are in a bit of hot water.  Here’s what I have to say about that: so what?  You don’t play football at any level and not expect to get hit.  This is a violent game.  Now, do I agree with the incentive program?  Yes.  It’s a shame that it has to come to money, but if that’s what it takes in order to get your players to work to their fullest, then that’s what you have to do.  It’s not like this is the first time something like this has happened.  Heck, I remember Lawrence Taylor talking about this during his playing days, and he ain’t a young man no more.  Now, here’s the flip side to this: I also agree with how the NFL handled it.  If they want to stop things like this, they needed to make the Saints and their staff examples.  Is this going to solve the problem?  I doubt it.  It’s going to force it underground, but hopefully it’s also going to make the staff think twice on how badly they want that trophy.

Enough about sports.

I got to see another trailer for The Avengers – can’t wait for that (yes, I am a Marvel fanboy) and I saw the teaser for the Total Recall remake.  The jury is still out on that.  I heard it’s going to be more faithful to the source than the original movie (which I liked), but… well… I don’t know.  As much I am a fan of Phillip K. Dick… I have to wonder if there will be a movie that’s really going to do his work justice.  Personally – I am still holding out for a decent adaptation of The Man in the High Tower.

Well, I should stumble off to some guilty sleep.

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy

The Forty-Sixth Post: The One I’m Writing Because I Didn’t Win MegaMillions Either…

As my vacation draws to a close (because I was only 4 numbers off on my lottery ticket), I look back at the most exciting time in the past week: finally getting caught up on one of my favorite shows.  Yeah – I take whole ‘do nothing on vacation’ seriously.  I did get a new video card for the non-useful PC and a whole host of old games to play – even Wing Commander and Wing Commander II.  Note to anyone using this service: run your games as an administrator, you’ll save yourself a lot of heartache.

A spider the size of a penny just walked by my desk.  I think it owes me rent.

On the domestic front, I was able to get some old wooden shelves and reassemble into another set of shelves with some long wood screws and swearing… until I ran out of screws.  Tomorrow, I intend on getting more wood screws and some better, more colorful combinations for my swearing.  It’s odd to have something that I put together to actually stay together and to function as intended.  Of course, I haven’t put anything in the shelves, yet – so failure as an option remains on the table.  We will see what happens tomorrow.

I am also going to participate in something called Script Frenzy.  100 pages of a screen play in about 30 days.  I’ll give it a shot.  I’ve got some scriptwriting software, and most of the ideas I have could be just as easily translated into novel form or a screen play.  I might try doing “Zeno’s Calendar” since I have a script in my head.  The only one that I could do would be “After Ever”, but that has more of a serial feel to it.  Actually, I should do “Night of Life” and see if I can find someone to buy it.  I think I can stretch it out to 100 pages in script format.  I’ll have to take a look at the story again, but I think it can be done as a screenplay.  Who knows?  This might even be a better format.  Maybe I should try shooting it myself?

Well, I’m going to try read some more – maybe I’ll finally get to that book I’ve been looking to finish.  This week has just whizzed by for me in a pleasant way.  My next long vacation will be during the week of my birthday, in accordance to tradition.  I will be taking individual days off soon with the release of a couple of games, but I don’t take many vacations – got into that habit with my last job.  Whatever days weren’t used, they were cashed out a a part of the Christmas bonus, so I only took a week for with my birthday and got a heck of a holiday bonus.  With this company, what ever you don’t use is just lost.  I’ll tell you the other jerk move they made next time.  I should toddle off to bed anyways.

Good night, all

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy

The Forty-Fifth Post: The One Where I Say “Lo, There Do I See My Father…”

Fifteen points for those of you who can tell me where this line comes from.  Another thirty points for anyone who can finish the poem (no fair cheating).  Why this poem?  I am facing the prospect of returning back to work… unless I win the lottery.  $500 million dollars… I could really go for that.  I think I can live off of that for a while.  Maybe a month or two before I have to resort to having my servants fan me with mere ten-dollar bills to keep me cool.  Don’t get me wrong, they’re good… for other people, but for me — the air just feels cooler against my skin if I’m being fanned by nothing less than fifty-dollar bills.  Try it and you’ll know that I am right.

I had a full day of splurging thanks to my overtime.  I got a graphics card for my completely non-useful PC, along with a lot of sweet old games and a couple of updates to a game I play through Steam, and I had a good breakfast from Waffle House and a fine dinner at Longhorn Steakhouse.  By the way — if you ask for a half serving of their cheese fries appetizer you’re going to get enough for a single serving.  Not just a single serving for me, but a single serving for the average person.  The salad was good and the regular portions are good enough to keep me stuffed (indeed, I had to walk around for a few minutes before feeling up to getting dessert).  Very nice place, Longhorn.

Right now, I am watching a documentary about gladiators and trying to put some finishing touches on a project I have been working on in my head.  Still whittling away the backlog of “NCIS” and tomorrow I am going to start on “Ringer”.  Didn’t get near a movie theatre this time, but there is tomorrow or even Saturday.  Sunday is going to be the “Game of Thrones” premiere, so I am going to use that day to clear out some of the movies I have: “The Tempest”, “Rumble in the Bronx”, “You Will Meet a Tall, Dark Stranger” (a romantic comedy with Naomi [swoon] Watts and Antonio Banderas) and “A Girl Cut In Two” (French comedy… I think).  as I watch this documentary, the more I think that reality TV is the modern version of the gladiatorial games.  People sign up for these things, looking to get fame and fortune.  The only thing that is missing is the swordplay, which I could completely get behind if I could choose the people to throw in the pit.  Snooki vs. one of the Kardashians?  Oh, pleasepleaseplease?  I promise to clean up.  Totally.  You know that Snooki is going to attack her like a feral badger on crack.  That visual is worth the price of admission alone.

Now one of my eyes is itching — which means spring is officially here, in case you were wondering and didn’t want to be fooled by this treacherous warm weather and scheming and chirping birds.  Huzzah for spring!  The single time of year where Mother Nature drops all pretense of being a friendly, happy butter-selling woman and tries to kill us with her most deadly foot soldiers — flowers.  The area where I live, as I have been told, is a hot bed for allergies.  If you don’t have allergies upon arrival, you’ll get them… except for me.  My allergies have become lesser when I moved here… also, I no longer live with cats (but I do miss them) and smokers (don’t miss them one bit).  So, if you take only one thing away from this, take this: smoking is horrible.  Please don’t do it.

Well, I am going to finish this documentary off and toddle to bed.  I hope you have a good day.  I, on the other hand, must get ready for the oncoming hordes on Monday.

 

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy

 

The Forty-Fourth Post: The One Where I Am Deeply Disturbed… An Odd Feeling…

OK — I am not the one to be easily disturbed.  When I was little, I wanted to be a special effects artist and I had been advised on a program to familiar myself with human anatomy.  So, with all the glee that a small child could muster, I threw myself into the study of the human body.  Even after I learned that being a special effects artist required for more talent that I had at my command, I still learned about the human body and how it looked and how it functioned.

With the advent of the Internet, I learned many more things as my curiosity went from child-eyed owl of wonder to jaded accident vulture.  I learned horrible things.  I saw the depravity of man in its rawest form.  I witnessed the honest fragility of the human form.  I read about how dark our hearts can truly be at times.  “Man is a wolf to man” and all that… but this… wow!  I can’t stomach to listen to it.  It is unearthly.

It is this.  It’s on YouTube, so it is safe for work but oh… I have no idea how you’re going to take it.  There’s been a good amount of ink spread on the subject, but I have to know what rancid, voice lusty mind got the idea to take some child and… well… do that.  Its not as if there was a manual for that sort of thing being passed around for others to read (is that right? As I am writing this, my caffeine reserves are dwindling down to nil).  Bless their soul  — as some would say — to stain the whites of their heart with such… brrr…  I need to get off this topic and on to something else… and get some more caffeine.

There — I feel better now.  As I might have mentioned elsewhere, I am on vacation.  Have been for this week and will go back next Monday.  This week, I am planning on venturing out to the movies.  If “John Carter” is still in the local cinema, I will watch it.  If you ask me, I think it was doomed from the start.  It is as if people in Hollywood wanted it to fail, like the skit in Monty Python’s “Holy Grail” with the old man saying he was fine, but Eric Idle insisting he’s dead.  I’m wondering if there was some sort of incentive for this movie to flop.  I should read the trades to see if someone had a contract was terminated.  When I come back from the movie, I will give a full review.

This Sunday is also the premiere of Season 2 of HBO’s “Game Of Thrones” — and it is a series that I heartily recommend.  If you haven’t read the books, then get right on it.  If you haven’t watched the series — do that first.  With each book (5 out of 7) over 400 pages, if you start reading now, then you should finish the current series by the time he finishes book 6.  I love the series and I will definitely read it over again once I have the complete set… now, if I can only find a way to cryogenically preserve myself so that I can be alive when the final book is released.  Yes, Mr. Martin does take a while to finish and I have no complaints as long as the quality of the series remains the same.  I am certainly not rushing him on anything… not that I could anyway.

Well, I am off to bed now, so I can sleep in and continue my days off.  Maybe I should try to do something somewhat constructive.  Stop laughing.

 

Good Night, Gentle Reader.

 

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy

The Forty-Third Post: The One Where I Feel Rather Old…

Well, I got a new computer and I’ve been loading up games and other counter productive things.  I got the Steam stuff to load up OK, and I got my AD&D character generator loaded just fine.  However these two games won’t load up at all — and they are my favorite games.  Sure — I cheated after I played them through and three older games were able to work just fine, but it is the fact that I like these games and I can’t play them.  I still like pen-and-paper games, but groups are becoming harder and harder to find to play with on-line (especially finding people who like 2nd ed D&D [AD&D for everyone else] or even 3.0).  Dagnabbit.

On to other things.  As mentioned, I got a new computer that is will have nothing useful on it… until I decided to load in Microsoft Word and Screen Writer Pro.  I am still committed however for this

This is the not the productive computer you're looking for...

to be as non-productive a computer as possible.  I wonder if anyone else goes through this?  Being attached to the memory of old games, rather than ditching them for something new and improved.  Heck, I still have some old V:tM stuff that I use as a reference guide every now and then… although I have Changeling and Promethean with me, and I would love to find a decent online campaign for those (since they are also the reference books for my ongoing ‘Why I Should Write For White Wolf’ campaign) games.

But enough about games — I am going to go see “John Carter” next week since I finally have the week off (one of two planned vacation weeks, the other being during my birthday week) and personally — I don’t buy the whole ‘it’s gonna flop‘ thing.  What they consider a hit and a flop is as different as night and day.  Remember The Artist?  No one I knew had heard of that film save for one commercial… then it won the Oscar and now I can’t swing a dead cat without hitting an ad for it.  The day that Saving Private Ryan lost to Shakespeare In Love was the day that I quit watching the Oscars.

Anyway… the season finale for The Walking Dead was on, but I am going to save it for later (please, no spoilers!) so I can savor it in the quiet.  Also — next week is the season premiere of Mad Men!  This will be a great couple of weeks for avid TV watchers like myself.  I should do some stretches, I think.

As the theme for “Games Of Thrones” plays on my player (and I quiver in anticipation for the premiere in 2 weeks), I will wrap this small post by saying — watch this space for my first chapter in “Kith and Kin” now that I got the three World Of Darkness books.

Good night all, I should get to bed since I am going to be working 18 hours of overtime this week in preparation for my vacation.

Sleep well, one and all

Seething With Apathy

The Forty-Second Post: The One Where I’m Going to Joy Puke My Face Off Come September

There are few games that I get genuinely excited about upon the announcement of a game, but this one hasn’t gotten me this excited since seeing the Halo: Reach trailer. In fact, when I play Halo: Reach, I still get that same little rush when I see the opening cinematic after playing it for the fiftieth time that I did when I first put it in the X-Box after getting it shortly after midnight opening day, and it was the only time that I took off of work just to play the game. I still jump when this happens. Before Halo, video games were a diversion for me – the real storytelling was when I was playing my pen and paper games. Now? I can’t wait for September for Borderlands 2 and Halo 4 is going to be like Christmas all over again because these games (especially Halo) actually advance a storyline. Games have come a long way from Pong (which I never really mastered anyways…)

On to other things – I got the main book for World of Darkness. Project: “Get White Wolf to Hire Me” is almost done. Now that I got the books, I can start putting the characters together and finish the plotting. I’m having a lot more fun with the building of the city, as I hate to say. I kinda like the game system and I think that the three best games are “Promethean: The Created”, “Changeling: The Lost” and “Geist” – the last two should have been in the old World of Darkness. Yes, this is also my Shou-Out: White Wolf Game Studio. They were far ahead of the “play a game to tell a story” curve that all the other games are desperately trying to catch up with. Support your local game company (and I have one now! Just down the street! I’ll have pictures next time) and get a game from White Wolf – or grab some of their fiction. Who knows? You might end up picking up my book.

I did go to the gym today – my schedule changed by an hour, so I am taking advantage of the new time to go to the gym. 60 minutes at 3.3 miles an hour and then straight home for dinner and try to get something written… which is why I feel so tired right now. There is little of anything else of importance to note – other than that I got assigned to my new desk over the weekend. I will try to take some before and after pictures and set them up here. I am not a fan of the new set up. It looks more like I should be ordering a sundae rather than taking someone’s call. I am not at all happy with some of these changes.

Well, dear reader – I am going to get some sleep and try to figure out a middle to one project, the end to another and how to start a third.

 

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy.

I Would Do It Differently: Nikita

Monsters We Are, Lest Monsters We Become

OK — please don’t misunderstand me.  I am not saying that I am better writer or show-runner than the people who make the shows I like, nor is this an attempt to infringe on anyone else’s copyrights.  I’m merely saying that I would have written the series differently.

With the series Nikita — there’s a lot going on.  A Russian mafia princess, out of wedlock children, dead spouses to contend with on a weekly basis.  That’s more than enough conflict to go around, not even adding Percy’s manuerving and Oversight’s interference.

I ask you this — what’s the real story?  Is it Nikita trying to single handedly (sorta) taking down Division to avenge the death of her fiancee?  Could it be the awkward attraction that Michael still has for his agent?  Perhaps it’s Alex coming into her own power with GOGOL.

Let me posit this: it should be none of these.  It should Nikita looking into the bathroom mirror everyday and telling herself: I am not like Division. I don’t have assets.  I have people.  However, we know that every day she says that, and every day she sends her moles Alex and other moles (split up into cells outside and inside of Division, further making everything dangerous) to try to undermind Percy at every turn.  Nikitia puts people into harm’s way every day in every way imaginable — but she tells herself that she’s not Percy.  She cares for every agent and when Division is dust, she’ll let every one go with some money and a new ID.  She treats them like people.  She tells herself that every day.  She is not nor will she ever be Percy.  Percy is a cold, emotionless socipath after all.  The only difference between Nikita and Percy is that Percy did all of this willingly.  After all, this is what Nikita tells her recruits (and us by proxy).  Why should she lie to us?  She checks up on her charges, tries to train them… she’s a little hard on them, but she’s going up against the evil Division!  Whatever doesn’t kill them and all that.

The day she has to sacrifice a pawn to try to trap the King, we’re going to see the beginning of the long graceful slide to Percy-ville, population now 2.  That will be the crux of the episodes: Nikita trying to balance the greater good (dismantling Division brick by blood and mortar affixed brick) verses her own desires (everyone comes home alive).  This is what would make our heroine even more approachable: how far is she going to go?  When the first of her moles gets cut down trying to throw a monkey wrench in Percy’s well-oiled murder machine, how is Nikita going to react?  More importantly, how is everyone else going to react to Nikita’s reaction?  The first agent: a tragedy for sure; a much needed sacrifice for the greater good.  The fifth or sixth agent?  A statistic to have words muttered over a polite grave and a handful of dirt tossed in for good measure.  Now the others should be starting to think that Nikita’s goal is a little quixotic for them.  Not all of them, obviously — Alex should be the sole hold out until the end of the series.

Enough about Nikita — what about Division?  Division should be a monolith.  A bright, steel and chrome building not unlike a modern office building after all, Division is a business.  Daycare center, fully staffed cafeteria — the audience should question Nikita’s judgement for the first few epsidoes.  Save revelations for the now popular mid-season break, but make sure that they’re not huge, game-changing revelations — even if we’re all familiar with the Nikita Mythology, we need to be shocked at how quickly we get seduced to agreeing with the company’s 401K policy over cheesecake and coffee.

There are only three people that we need to care about in Division: Percy, Michael and Alex.  Everyone else is a pretty face in a nice suit with folders in their arms and a smile on their lips.  Any horrible information we get initally about Division should always be from Nikita only.  She needs to be the funhouse mirror that Division reflects off of durning the epsiodes in which we deal with the company exclusively — and sparingly.  Division-centric episodes should be very, very few but jam packed with enough double-talk to confuse William Casey.  When we see Division, our thoughts should go to: How much of this is political intrigue… and how much of this is a woman gone mad with grief?  The answer: a little from column A and a little from column B.

As far as the people we see in Division, it’s not the Big Three of Percy, Michael and Alex.  It’s the Dynamic Duo and Alex.  Michael is a painfully straight arrow.  No dead wife or daughter, no secret son — just a man trying to make a buck.  Percy?  Nikita likens him to the Devil with a good tailor.  When we see him in Division, he’s crafty but somewhat overworked bureaucrat.  He’s got HR, Acquisions and Logistics clamoring for his attention and he only has 24 hours in his day. What of our lovely little mole Alex?  At first, Percy sends her out on a lot of low-risk ‘assignments’ — over-glorifed coffee runs that she knows are pointless and even Nikita acknowledges that.  What everyone else knows is that Alex is being groomed for ‘upper management’.  When Percy retires (not “retires”), he knows that Michael is going to need someone who can do the dirty jobs, or at least assign them to people that she knows can get it done.  Percy also knows that you keep your friends close and your enemies closer… especially if they’re a step away from that crazy widow Nikita.  Nikita pushes Alex (very hard) to get Percy’s trust.  Percy politely requests Alex (very, very politely) to make contact with Nikita and get into her inner circle.  Whenever we see Alex, we should start to wonder if this is the episode that she cracks under Nikita’s pressure and runs scream to Percy… understanding, gentle and considerate Percy who has never done so much as raised his voice, always visited her in the hospital.  A few seasons of this and the audience will find themselves trying to keep some sense of support for our Nikita… just like everyone else in the series.

Ultimately — the conflict is not Nikita (imperfect puppetmaster) vs. Alex (resentful marionette), it’s not Nikita (single soldier) vs. Division (looming corporate Juggernaut).  The ultimate conflict is between Nikita (revenge driven widow) vs. Nikita (friendless and tired loner).

But… then again — what do I know?

The Forty-First Post: The One Where I Hope The South Doesn’t Rise Again Until I Have The House Paid Off…

I know that this post is coming rather deep in January, but I wanted to have something worthwhile to say… and if I couldn’t have something worthwhile, I’ll have something funny – and oh, brother do I have something.

This month, my homeowner’s insurance was cancelled because I had the temerity to be robbed and to have holes repaired in my roof. Well, I have new insurance and I was looking over what I am insured against and what’s not covered. As you read this list, keep this in mind: at some point, this had to have happened to someone.

Perils Insured Against

  • Fire and Lightning (ok, that’s pretty straightforward)
  • Windstorm and Hail (I’m in Kentucky, so tornado insurance is almost a given)
    • This peril does not include loss to the inside of a building or the property contained in a building caused by rain, snow, sleet, sand (sand? I’m not in the Sahara) or dust (is that a crack about my housekeeping?) unless the direct force of wind or hail damages the building causing an opening in a roof or wall and the rain, snow, sleet, sand or dust (another shot, sir?) enters through this opening (hole roof = good. Open door = bad. Got it).
    • This peril includes loss to watercraft and their trailers, furnishings, equipment, and outboard motors, only while inside a fully enclosed building (but, if I have a hole in my roof large enough for rain, snow, sleet, hail and dust [not my dust], then it’s not really enclosed, is it?)
  • Explosion (another fairly straight forward one)
  • Riot and civil commotion (yeah… Derby is coming up…)
  • Aircraft, including self-propelled missiles and spacecraft. (OK, I don’t know what unnerves me more – the fact that someone said ‘what about missiles?’ and said ‘Wait, what about spacecraft?’… or that someone said ‘Wait, what about missiles and spacecraft?’ This doesn’t bode well for most first contact scenarios.)
  • Vehicles
    • This peril does not include loss caused by a vehicle owned or operated by a resident of the resident premises. (OK – so I’ll just have to make sure I hit the driveway the first time)
  • Smoke, meaning sudden and accidental damage from smoke. (Sudden smoke? Is there a gradual smoke? Am I going to wake up one morning and say ‘wait – is there smoke? When did this start?’)
  • Vandalism and malicious mischief (as opposed to gregarious mischief? ‘I am gregarious and mischievous – let’s set this dude’s house on fire!’)
    • This peril does not include loss to property on the residence premises if the dwelling has been vacant for more than 30 consecutive days immediately before the loss (29 days, 23 hours – you’re good. 30 days, 1 hour – you’re screwed. Plan your tagging carefully, homies.)
  • Burglary from within a building on the residence premises of which there must be visible evidence of forcible entry (hopefully they’re going to ignore the gaping hole in my roof and not track dust into my house.)
    • This peril does not include loss caused by burglary:
      • Committed by any insured
      • In or to a dwelling under construction, or of materials and supplies for use in the construction until the dwelling is complete and occupied; or
      • From any part of a residence premises rented by an insured to other than an insured (having been robbed, no jokes from me here – besides, I am saving up for…)
  • Volcanic Eruption other than loss caused by earthquake, land shock waves or tremors (OK… umm… last time I checked, most volcanoes don’t just sprout up like mushrooms after a good rain. The ground is going to shake. Besides, if a volcano erupts near my home – insurance is the last thing I am going to think about. The first? THERE IS A (CENSORED) VOLCANO COMING UP IN MY BACKYARD! I AM SO KICKING MY REALTOR’S ASS!)

Here come the good parts…

EXCLUSIONS

We do not insure for loss caused directly or indirectly by any of the following. Such loss is excluded regardless of any other cause or event contributing concurrently or in any sequence to the loss.

  • Ordinance or Law, meaning enforcement of ordinance or law regulating the construction, repair or demolition of a building or other structure, unless specifically provided under this policy (When adding a sunroom is outlawed, only outlaws will host summer parties).
  • Earth Movement, meaning earthquake, including land shock waves or tremors before, during or after a volcanic eruption (umm… but volcanic eruptions are covered… so long as the volcano doesn’t make the earth shake. Burning hot lava? OK. Choking smoke? OK. Earth movement? You’re just out of luck… apparently they have more lawyers than geologists); landslide; mudflow; earth sinking, rising or shifting; unless direct loss by:
    • Fire
    • Explosion
  • Water Damage, meaning:
    • Flood, surface water, waves, tidal water, overflow of a body of water, or spray any of these, whether or not driven by wind (umm… isn’t rain really just water driven by wind? So, is the rain covered, but not the flood, which is really merely an accumulation of rain water past a really safe point)?
    • Water which backs up through sewers or drains; or
    • Water below the surface of the ground, including water which exerts pressure on or seeps or leaks through a building, sidewalk, driveway, foundation, swimming pool or other structure (Thank God I have my secret underground glacier to supply me with water – wait, global what?).
  • Power failure, meaning the failure of power or other utility service if the failure takes place off the residence premises (huh? So I’m covered if my neighbor’s power goes out and it drags me down?).
  • Neglect, meaning neglect of the insured to use all reasonable means to save and preserve property at and after the time of a loss (look – I’ve had floods, volcanoes, earthquakes and spaceships hit my house. I know when I’m not wanted).
  • War, including undeclared war, civil war, insurrection, rebellion, revolution, warlike act by a military force or military personnel (I know military people – this is also going to cover parties, get-togethers and beer runs), destruction or seizure or use for a military purpose (can you weaponize a keg? I know people who can…), and including any consequence of any of these. Discharge of a nuclear weapon shall be deemed a warlike act even if accidental (Hey, what does this button do? Dammit! I had two more payments!)
  • Nuclear Hazard, to the extent set forth in the Nuclear Clause of Section I – Conditions (OK – if I wake up and my goldfish is sporting a third eye and I don’t have to use a night light to read at night – see my comment about volcanoes)
  • Intentional Loss, meaning any loss arising out of any act committed:
    • By or at the direction of an insured; and
    • With the intent to cause loss (House? What house, sir? Oh, that – well, the soldiers got a little carried away. You know that I am covered against missiles, right? No, they’re not nuclear – good heavens, man – I am not irresponsible!)
  • Condemnation. We provide no coverage under this policy if, prior to the date of a covered loss, the dwelling or other structure is declared condemned pursuant to local, city, state, federal or other government regulation. Upon date of condemnation, coverage will cease (so… after the earthquakes, alien invasion, volcanoes, windstorms and rain – do you think I’m going to actually look at my house and say ‘so spackle and primer and no one will know the difference!’)
  • Criminal Acts, meaning any loss that results from the criminal acts of any insured, including tenants and/or their relatives, on the residence premises (What’s that smell? Oh, that’s the weaponized beer keg – pay it no mind…)

So – this is all the fun that being a homeowner can be. Just remember – they can take my nuclear, volcanic weaponized light beer anti spacecraft missile from my cold, dead and lava encrusted fingers.

 

Sleep well,

Sincerely to you, dear Reader,

Seething Apathy

 

 

 

 

The Fortieth Post: The One Where I Hand Baby New Year 2012 to Someone to Get His Diaper Changed

Yes, I wrote these posts far before the midnight deadline. Just part of the “be ready to work” mentality I am trying to cultivate in my writing. A good example of what I am trying to accomplish is what this guy’s doing. He hasn’t missed a day since June of 2000. I am going to work for this novel – 70,000 words in 3 months (about 800 words a day Monday through Saturday).

At the risk of sounding like Tony Robbins – this is the time to do it. No one is going to do it for you. Hate your job? Find something you like to do. People play Magic: The Gathering, Halo and Gears of War for a living. People draw a salary by playing with Legos. Actors, writers, directors and artists all do things that we wish we could ultimately do: getting paid for doing something that you enjoy doing anyway.

This is the year to do it. Sure – the Mayans said that this was the end of their calendar. So – let’s not make them liars. Let the world that holds you back die a whimpering death. Let this year be the end of your old world and let the world you want to rise out of its ashes. The only thing that will ever hold you back is you. Let that part of you slip away with the morning (and the hangover).

Just do it.

Wishing you success, Dear Reader.

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy

The Thirty-Ninth Post: The One Where Old Man 2011 Yells at Us Kids To Get Off His Damn Lawn

Well, this has been a good year for me. I got published. I know what to do now, so this next
project is going to be better organized. This is going to be the year I finally get something really going. Got a plan to be followed and a long list of ideas to be executed – there is nothing else that needs to be done other than the turn of the year and a clap of the hands.

I hope that everyone else has a wonderful New Year. 2011 wasn’t the best of years, but whatever doesn’t kill us… causes us great pain, but pain tell us we’re alive. Not the best thing to keep in mind, but hey – whatever keeps you going, right? I hope that this year for you will be as equally transformative. I hope that this will be the year that you will look back upon and say ‘that was the best year ever’… but let the other one be even better.

I want to thank the two people who read this blog – they have been very good friends to put up with the roller coaster that this blog can be at times. I hope to continue to entertain them as I expect for this to become much bigger in the year to come.

Good Luck to you. I hope to see you prosperous in 2012.

 

Sincerely,

Seething With Apathy