I haven’t posted a blog since the 3^rd of August. I would like to say that I decided to take a vacation, but that would be untrue. The fact of the matter is that I just stopped. I had told myself that I was going to write Monday to Saturday, but I didn’t feel like writing – especially after Saturday. I’ve also been a bit dodgy about the novel – I got a very little bit done on Friday. Sunday night, I stayed up to watch Curiosity land and went to bed at 2:30 AM rather than midnight. I woke up on Monday at 8:30 AM, but felt like I was trying to think through cotton and spider-webs. So I took a 2 ½ hour nap, with enough time to get ready for work and leave. I did do a little bit yesterday with the next ice-cream scene in the novel (I’m going to continue that today and take advantage of that app in the Color). Overall, this is the first major writing I’ve done in a few days.

But I told myself that I was going to put my nose to the proverbial grindstone on this. I was going to work regularly on the novel and blog on a consistent schedule – but as we can see, I am unwilling to be held to that. What’s even a harder kick in the pants is that this isn’t the first time. I am starting to consider that I am – and looking back over various things that meant a great deal to me at the time – in the habit of sabotaging myself. Why? I am not entirely sure (or I am completely unwilling to face the truth). It could something as simple as I’m lazy, or the fact that I feel as if I deserve nothing good in my life and doing this feeds that thought process. Well, now that I know this – I can work to either mitigate the effects of this thinking, or just float along… and thus, the purpose of this blog is revealed – to be a private sounding board.

Back to the novel – I started writing the ice-cream scene on my Color and I am going to finish it there and move it back to my computer. I’ve gotten a new idea and I don’t know if it should be in the same realm as Rhona and the others, or should it be its own book. The idea (and it is still working itself out in my head – so I am scribbling madly in between calls at work) is that the main character is stricken by some illness that is known to be fatal, but he has to accomplish something in a short amount of time… so it is a race between his illness and this accomplishment. I am intrigued by the idea of the hero being somewhat infirm and getting worse as time goes on. So, as far as research goes, I am going to look for diseases that are medium-term (two to six months) that have a set of highly visible symptoms. I’m not going to start it until I am done with I/O Error. The idea is that I have one novel I am working on writing, another novel that I am outlining and one that I am plotting. I am trying to keep busy, going along with the idea that while quality is going to get me fans; quantity is going to get me paid.

That being said, I have some work to do.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

Hello, all – you’ll notice that there was no blog post yesterday. Well, I decided rather impulsively that I would take a day off and finally get that Nook Color I had been drooling over. The drooling was worth it. This device is perfect for people who want to have something beyond an e-reader, but also don’t want to shell out the money for an Ipad. I’ve been very satisfied with it thus far – even found out there was a new “Dexter” novel which I am going to get today before I leave for work. As for writing yesterday, I had the best of intentions. I wanted to go to a certain Barnes and Noble store, since they had a Color cover that I liked (with a quote from Oscar Wilde: “At the New York Customs, I have nothing to declare except my own genius.“). The plan was to have breakfast, get the Color come back home and revel in its glory until I had to leave for work. Sure, extra gas was to have been spent, but it would be worth it.

I got to the Barnes and Nobel and pulled into the relatively empty lot… and saw that the store didn’t open until 10:00 AM. Fine. I had fifteen minutes to kill, so I waited and read a book. When it opened up, I walked calmly inside and told the person at the counter that I would like to get a Nook Color. Now, when I get into a high emotional state, I tend to stutter, stammer and flip words around. So, I took a deep breath and relayed my message. The counter person (probably thinking I had released myself from the local sanitarium) cheerfully grabbed a Color and offered me the standard discount card for the store, which I took since I plan on shopping there more often. I got that and the cover, making a beeline for the power socket in the café. My thinking was that I should do as much as I can here, and then go back home for a couple of hours. So, I grabbed an ice coffee and relaxed.

Oh, did I mention that it takes 3 hours for the initial charging? Yeah. OK – I figured that I was just going to have to make a day of it. I wanted it charged up so I could read something at work. So, while it was charging, I decided to get some apps – including QuickOffice Pro, so I can do some work if I don’t have a pen and paper handy (it’s compatible with MS Office). Instead, I bought the one book I knew was missing from my “Dexter” collection (#2: Deeply Devoted Dexter). I perused the newspaper and magazine collection (no hometown paper? Huh?) and generally made myself have a little fun. When the Color was finished charging, I unplugged everything and walked out with the intention of getting lunch, which I got from this place. I would also like to point out that for the amount of money I shelled out – I should have gotten a hot dog bigger than a pencil. I’m just sayin’. I had a good day.

Well, I need to get to work. I hope your days are as good as mine was yesterday.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy

Hello, all – I am getting a late start to today for several reasons, but the chief among them is that I am tired and it’s only Wednesday (check local listing for actual date and time). There is little going on anywhere as far as the novel, my life or even movies (TDKR Sunday!). I’m just really, really tired today. I am going to get some work done on the novel, but as far as blogging goes – in between political fights on reddit (to quote Tom Araya: “Just me and my world of enemies”) and trying not to throttle people through the phone at work – there isn’t much to say. So, I turn it over to you: the fan(s). What would you like to read me expound on? Favorite movies? Movies that I would have done differently? Movies that I want to know why they were made (other than for money and to keep lazy actors off the streets)? There will be a caveat to this: I will not discuss political views. The reason being is when I started this blog, I didn’t want to have it devolve into a flame war. I have enough of those on other places, thank you.

As far as the novel goes (another reason for this blog has become me accounting my progress to the web and keeping me motivated and honest), the poisoning scene is going to wrap up and from there we get to meet Anya’s Poppa – not the person you would think would have that title. This, and the final scene (no spoilers) are the two scenes that I am really going to work on to get right, especially since everything that has happened has led up to that point in the book. I want it to be a powerful piece, so I am going to more than likely going to dither over it for a couple of days beyond finishing it.

Some other interesting news: someone admitted that they were going to buy my first book – and no, he was not under duress when he said that. This doesn’t bring me to the great $10.00 threshold, but it brings me closer to the point where I would buy it to get it over that point. When I do, I promised myself that I would buy myself a meal… of course, when I said that, I was thinking more along the lines of a nice steak – but a sub will do. I’ll be sure to capture the moment with a video.

Oh – there will be an announcement at the end of the month concerning this blog. It’s good news. I swear.

Well, I am going to try to wake up again and get cracking on that novel.

Sincerely,

Seething Apathy