When I was younger (much, much younger – single digit younger), I had three problems with my body:
- Asthma (brought about by cats and my mom’s incessant smoking)
- Lots of heartburn
- Sleep disturbances (going to bed at 8, waking up at 11 and thinking I’ve slept until morning and starting to get ready for school)
When I moved out for college, it all stopped. Got a full ten hours of sleep, could breathe in and out without sounding like Darth Vader and had no painful heartburn (I mean ‘twisting in the bed thinking the acid was going to just eat through my torso’ bad). I felt good about my health for a few years. I had some reoccurrences, but not for weeks on end like it was at home. Stuff I could handle – no big deal for the most part. A couple of hours off my pace, maybe avoiding the spicy food for a meal or just a whisper in my lungs – what I would almost call ‘background misery’ before I knew what ‘background misery’ really was.
Some of my old friends are back. I went to bed at 2:30 AM (not all that unusual), but I woke up on my own volition at 7:00 AM. I made one mistake and I looked at the clock. I tried to put that time out of my head and go back to sleep. No such luck because everything from yesterday and what was waiting for me today settled into my mind and kept running around in a loop in my mind. I closed my eyes, I counted down from 5 and said click (an old trick, picturing your waking self like a light and turning yourself off), I even told myself stories to put myself to sleep (I’m not that boring, thank you). No such luck and I finally got out of bed, resigning myself to a lot of Pepsi Max and trying to keep myself from shouting at the dogs next door. To offset the chill of the morning, I have a friendly fire in my stomach. Hail, hail, the gang’s all here.
Since I was up anyways, I decided to go on ahead and do most of the editing for my first novel. I just have to re-write a couple of scenes and try to save one. So, a late December release still looks good, but I am not above holding it until January or February to make sure it is the best that I can bring to the table. I am going to get back to I/O Error, but I also want to get something out there so I can start making some sort of money so I can pay off some bills two or three months down the road (the great and honored tradition of fuck-you money).
Wow – it is 10:00 AM and I am still feeling wired and unrelaxed (my traps are as hard as steel). This is going to be an interesting day. I hope your sleep is sound and the ghosts of your Taco Bell run stay quiet.
Sincerely,
Seething Apathy
Seething Apathy 